we’re still here, y’all

I can’t believe it’s been so long since I updated this blog. I’ve thought of shutting down, but now and then I like to get some stuff out and I’ve been her for so long…

We have been in our house for 6+ months now and we still love it. We have an empty dining room and mostly empty living room, but we’ll get there. Even though our house is redone, we are still finding items we want/need to do. Like getting the fireplace hooked up to the gas line, installing a disposal (who doesn’t have a disposal in this day and age), landscaping the front yard, painting upstairs, and doing some work in the bathrooms. That said, we’re still paying off the new washer & dryer and the kids’ swingset, so we’ll likely wait a bit. We love our neighborhood and are just thoroughly pleased in general.

Monkey started Kindergarten back in July (year-round school). He’s doing great! We were a little worried, but so far he is engaged and excited and moving right along. He’s in our local public school, which is rated 9/10 on Great Schools. While the school seems perfectly fine, it doesn’t really excite us in any way. We loved his preschool and were really hoping to have that same feeling once he got to K. So, I attended a Magnet School fair today to check out our options. There were two that sounded great and that I’m going to visit in the coming weeks. I think we’d probably just stick with our local public school (and we still may) but they redistrict here frequently and you have no control over where your child may end up. That is kinda scary and doesn’t happen for the charters and magnets so we’ll see what comes. In the meantime, Monkey is learning to write and read and is doing really well – even though the kid never EVER listens to us at home. We’re trying on that front 🙂 I also can’t believe our guy will be 6 in a little over a month. OMG! Wasn’t he just born????

The Marshmallow is 2.5 and boy is he ever 2.5. Tantrums and “no” and refusing naps, oh my. He is still nursing, but I’m going out of town on business in a little over a week so that may be the end of that. DW is really pushing me to be done, but I just don’t know how I’ll handle it if on my return, he’s teary and begging for milk. As much as I’d love to be done, there’s a lot to be said for extended nursing, too. We’ll see what happens.

In terms of work, I was really unhappy in the role I originally took at my company. It’s the type of work I enjoy doing, but it’s a new team and our management is AWFUL. Everyone on the team is in misery and looking to get out. So I pursued another job within the company and I got it a couple of weeks ago. Monday is my first day and I’m thrilled. Most of the team I’ll be working with is based in, wait for it… Los Angeles! So I’m flying to LA for planning meetings on 11/17, and will likely be in LA a few times a year. Yay! I have already worked with this team in my old role and really like them so I’m hopeful that this will be a good situation for me. Luckily, we love our new city and our new home, so it was still absolutely worth the move. How awful if that weren’t the case!

For Halloween, DW went all out and decorated our house and played spooky music and everything. I had no idea she wanted to do that, but I’m happy she did 🙂 We’re already buying stuff for Christmas decorating!

It was also the first time we’ve had Trick or Treaters come to the door (we were in a security building in CA) and Monkey LOVED handing out candy. We asked him if he wanted to keep getting candy or go home and hand out candy and he enthusiastically said, “Hand out candy!!!! Let’s go!” He waited by the door, looking out the window for ToTers. Adorable. My guys were Batman (M) and Robin (MM). There was a kids H’ween party at my office and they were Mario (M) and Luigi (MM) there – freaking adorable!!!!!

So that’s what’s happening around these parts. I’ll try to update more often, friends.

working mom woes

So I have to fly out to NC for a new hire orientation in early December. After going back and forth over whether to bring the MM (who is still nursing) and have my mom watch him, I think I’ve decided to leave him home with DW and brother. I have a huge pit in my stomach just thinking about it. I’ll be gone Sun-Wed, so 3 nights and 4 days. I could cry.

it’s official

I received an updated offer and ACCEPTED! We are moving to Raleigh, NC! My mom cried. Twice. Hahahahahaha! The plan is for me to start remote in early Dec and be in the Raleigh office by end of January. OMG! Now we just have to find a property management company to rent out our CA condo, get said condo ready to rent (just a few small fixes needed), get moving/car shipping quotes, find temporary housing in NC, figure out how to get 3 cats to NC (!!!!), pack, and move. No problem, right? Then, once we’re there, we have to house hunt, find a school for Monkey, and move our stuff into our new place. Easy peasy. I’m feeling queasy…

i’m coming home

Wow, it’s been a while! Sorry for leaving y’all hanging out here. In regard to my last post, a check has been issued and it has cleared the bank so I think “the scandal” has reached its conclusion. Should more details arise, you better believe I’ll update you. WACKY!

In other H-U-G-E news, it looks like we will be moving to Raleigh, NC by end of January!!!!! OMG!!!! I got an offer for a great job with a great company and I’m super excited about it. I ‘m countering now, so keep your fingers crossed for an awesome outcome. We are excited and also terrified about the thought of moving across the country with 2 littles and 3 cats. Whoa.

update

Well, since my last post things have calmed down considerably. Big Seattle Company decided not to continue the interview process with me after the second phone interview, so that is off the table. A bit burnt about being rejected twice, but I was pretty conflicted about it anyway, so whatevs. I am now concentrating on NC for the job hunt, especially now that they recognize gay marriage! Wow, wow, wow. Not something I thought I’d ever see in my lifetime- so very happy. Isn’t it ironic that it was the passage of these discriminatory amendments that actually sped up marriage equality? By taking action to prevent us from equal rights, they’ve actually paved the way for us. Thanks, bigots!

Monkey is still terrorizing the MM (and us) and I’m hoping it’s just a passing phase. He just can’t keep his hands and feet to himself and he’s constantly yelling and screaming out for no reason other than to make NOISE. He’s always been a handful, but it seems to spike up to out of control at times. It’s so hard to keep your cool when watching someone hurt your baby – even when the one doing the hurting is your other baby. We’ve tried many different methods for changing the behavior but so far, nothing has worked. Honestly I think he needs more outdoor time to get all that energy out, but it’s not always easy with the MM and nap time. This is why I am seriously longing for a yard. It would be so awesome to be able to send him out back to play in a safe, fenced in environment. Y’all who have yards, savor that shit. I’m jealous!

In other news, we’ve been getting into the Halloween spirit with a trip to Knotts.Scary.Farm, 2 pumpkin patch visits, and another coming on Friday. We’re considering a Disney.land day trip, but we’ll see.

The MM is doing a lot of talking these days and it is ADORABLE. He can say:

• Brother
• Kitty
• Mama/Mommy
• Here
• There
• Yeah
• Batman
• Spiderman
• Elmo
• Thomas (as in the train)

He has more words than this, but these are the ones we hear most often. He also imitates almost everything we say. Notice that”No” is not in that word list? The MM is super sweet and mellow and hardly ever says no. Now, I’m sure that will be changing in the near future, but for now, I’ll enjoy my sweet little baby. He is still nursing quite a bit (I’m ready/not ready to nightwean soon) and is a decent eater. His sleep has been a little tough lately as he’s really been wanting to be on the boob all night long (see nightweaning above), but we have never been up for hours in the night like we were when Monkey was his age and he stays in bed until 6-7 every morning. He is very clingy with me lately, which is both sweet and a little maddening. I love my little Mama’s boy so so much!

stress

OMG, I am so freaking stressed out. I need a weekend away, to do nothing but read trashy magazines next to the beach or in a bubble bath, eat delicious meals without a child screaming or wanting to sit in my lap, and S-L-E-E-P. Yeah, like that will be happening anytime soon. Onto the bullets o’ havoc!

• Seattle job: I had my first interview a week ago Friday. It went well and I’m scheduled for the 2nd phone interview tomorrow afternoon. If that goes well, they’ll want me to fly up for a day of interviews. So, I’ll have to leave my breastfeeding baby overnight for the first time. Then have a completely stressful day of interviews while worrying about what’s happening at home with the baby. Then, if I get offered the job, we have to decide whether or not we want to do it. If we do it, we have the pleasure of moving to another state with 2 small kids and 3 cats. Right before the holiday season. Fun, right?
• Current job: Super stressful. I don’t want to do anything, but I’m overtasked all of a sudden with things that I don’t know how to do. I get vague info, have no one to bounce ideas off of, etc. Hate it. I never wanted this position, but when my old manager left, my new manager offered it to me and acted like I’d be an idiot not to accept. So, I accepted, knowing I didn’t want it and would hate it (involves sales, for God’s sake – that is not me).
• Homelife: We have officially outgrown our place. The kids need a yard to run around in. I need a decent workspace. THIS PLACE IS NOT CUTTING IT! Monkey is constantly (and I do mean CONSTANTLY) hitting, kicking, pushing the MM. He (Monkey) is obviously pissed off in general lately, but I don’t know how to improve it. It makes me sad for both boys and I worry that they won’t be close as they get older. I know that fighting will be part of a sibling relationship, but this is ridiculous.
• MiL: This list is so long and ever growing that I simply can’t write it all down. Just suffice it to say that it sucks to be her and to be us where she is concerned.

So, that’s my current shitty situation. My head and stomach hurt every day due to stress and lack of sleep (baby nursing and stress-related insomnia). I’m really trying to reframe – my family is healthy, I make a good salary, we are not in debt, we live in a beautiful area, we have the 2 kids we longed for, grateful for the possibility of a new job – but it’s really really hard these days.

the merry-go-round

In my last post, I mentioned that we are actively looking to relocate. When we were at the beach with my family, we told everyone that we wanted to move South and they all went absolutely crazy with excitement. Since then (actually, since before then), I’ve sent out a ton of resumes and I’ve gotten – zero responses. Maybe it’s the California address making it tough? I’ve also done some serious networking with everyone I know professionally and personally who lives in the South. Everyone is enthusiastic and helpful, but still – nothing in the way of an interview. DW and I started making plans to go stay at my parents’ place in SC for a month and use her address – see if I got any leads.

Right about that time, I got contacted by the big company in Seattle that I interviewed with last year around this time. They are restructuring and have a new position that I might be interested in. I have been waiting to see what shakes out and finally have a phone interview this Friday (while we are in San Francisco for a conference, I might add). I interviewed with the guy who is hiring for this new position last time and we really hit it off, so I’m thinking there’s a decent chance I’ll get an offer at the end of this. Then again, I thought the same thing last time and I didn’t get it.

Funny thing, this time around we’re not that into it. After looking at real estate in the South, we were getting excited about the prospect of getting the home of our dreams for very little money. We’d be close to a lot of family who could actually help us out on occasion with the kids. The kids could grow up with their cousins. MiL could afford to buy herself a nice place for little money. We’d live large, and we could take a step back from hectic city life.

In Seattle, the housing prices are better than LA, but it’s still pretty expensive. I’d have a commute. We don’t know anyone in Seattle. The only real pluses are the job itself (which sounds great and is with a great company) and the fact that our marriage would be recognized and we’d likely experience little homophobia like here in LA. To be fair, I don’t know how our day-to-day experiences in the South would be, but I know politically it is not a great fit with our type of family.

I’m still kind of excited about the possibility – I mean, I’ve never heard anything but praise for Seattle itself. DW, however, is pretty much set on the South. It is a good way to extricate ourselves from having MiL so dependent on us.  That said, I have no way of knowing if a job opportunity will arise. Nothing has happened yet. So the plan is for me to go through the process and see what shakes out and then make a decision. What I’d like to do is look at Seattle as a stopping point in our master plan. Think of it as a place we’ll be for a few years, get some good experience under my belt, travel around that part of the country and then move on to the South if we’re still wanting to do that. Problem with that idea? MiL.

We are both so frustrated with feeling like we can’t do what we want to do for our family because we have her needs to consider. Poor planning on my inlaws’ part and the unexpected, untimely death of my FiL lead us here. It wouldn’t be so bad if she was super sweet, helpful, kind, etc., which she actually was when I first met her. These days, she is obnoxious, domineering and selfish. I don’t think there’s an answer here – just venting, I guess.

So here’s where we are currently. I don’t know whether to ask for good vibes for my interview or not. A part of me doesn’t even want to go through the (grueling) process only to have DW (and possibly myself) nix it should I land the job. Argh.

ION, Monkey started t-ball over the weekend! OMG you guys – the cuteness is almost too much to bear. I don’t know if it’s being a little older or if he’s found his Thing, but Monkey is doing great with it so far. He is staying pretty focused, listening to his coach and has a good arm. I thought DW was going to fall over when she saw him in his uniform. This is the type of thing she lives for (she played softball for years as a kid – lesbian hahahahahaha). Anyway, it was awesome and we are so looking forward to the season.