the merry-go-round

In my last post, I mentioned that we are actively looking to relocate. When we were at the beach with my family, we told everyone that we wanted to move South and they all went absolutely crazy with excitement. Since then (actually, since before then), I’ve sent out a ton of resumes and I’ve gotten – zero responses. Maybe it’s the California address making it tough? I’ve also done some serious networking with everyone I know professionally and personally who lives in the South. Everyone is enthusiastic and helpful, but still – nothing in the way of an interview. DW and I started making plans to go stay at my parents’ place in SC for a month and use her address – see if I got any leads.

Right about that time, I got contacted by the big company in Seattle that I interviewed with last year around this time. They are restructuring and have a new position that I might be interested in. I have been waiting to see what shakes out and finally have a phone interview this Friday (while we are in San Francisco for a conference, I might add). I interviewed with the guy who is hiring for this new position last time and we really hit it off, so I’m thinking there’s a decent chance I’ll get an offer at the end of this. Then again, I thought the same thing last time and I didn’t get it.

Funny thing, this time around we’re not that into it. After looking at real estate in the South, we were getting excited about the prospect of getting the home of our dreams for very little money. We’d be close to a lot of family who could actually help us out on occasion with the kids. The kids could grow up with their cousins. MiL could afford to buy herself a nice place for little money. We’d live large, and we could take a step back from hectic city life.

In Seattle, the housing prices are better than LA, but it’s still pretty expensive. I’d have a commute. We don’t know anyone in Seattle. The only real pluses are the job itself (which sounds great and is with a great company) and the fact that our marriage would be recognized and we’d likely experience little homophobia like here in LA. To be fair, I don’t know how our day-to-day experiences in the South would be, but I know politically it is not a great fit with our type of family.

I’m still kind of excited about the possibility – I mean, I’ve never heard anything but praise for Seattle itself. DW, however, is pretty much set on the South. It is a good way to extricate ourselves from having MiL so dependent on us.  That said, I have no way of knowing if a job opportunity will arise. Nothing has happened yet. So the plan is for me to go through the process and see what shakes out and then make a decision. What I’d like to do is look at Seattle as a stopping point in our master plan. Think of it as a place we’ll be for a few years, get some good experience under my belt, travel around that part of the country and then move on to the South if we’re still wanting to do that. Problem with that idea? MiL.

We are both so frustrated with feeling like we can’t do what we want to do for our family because we have her needs to consider. Poor planning on my inlaws’ part and the unexpected, untimely death of my FiL lead us here. It wouldn’t be so bad if she was super sweet, helpful, kind, etc., which she actually was when I first met her. These days, she is obnoxious, domineering and selfish. I don’t think there’s an answer here – just venting, I guess.

So here’s where we are currently. I don’t know whether to ask for good vibes for my interview or not. A part of me doesn’t even want to go through the (grueling) process only to have DW (and possibly myself) nix it should I land the job. Argh.

ION, Monkey started t-ball over the weekend! OMG you guys – the cuteness is almost too much to bear. I don’t know if it’s being a little older or if he’s found his Thing, but Monkey is doing great with it so far. He is staying pretty focused, listening to his coach and has a good arm. I thought DW was going to fall over when she saw him in his uniform. This is the type of thing she lives for (she played softball for years as a kid – lesbian hahahahahaha). Anyway, it was awesome and we are so looking forward to the season.

summer bucket list round-up

Dude. Summer, the bucket list, and this blog are getting away from me. Since I last updated, we have crossed a few more items off the list, but we have several that I’m afraid will be slipping into fall…

We went to the beach in South Carolina for a week at the end of July and had a lot of fun. Monkey and his 8 year old cousin had a great time, meaning that they made it kind of miserable for the rest of us. Bouncing off the walls, not listening, just running wild. I had to remind myself and others of how super annoying my cousins and I were around that age and what incredible fun we had back in the day. Monkey is still talking about his cousins and missing them. All’s well that ends well, I guess! We visited the Serpentarium and Botany Bay – our yearly excursions.

Monkey feeding turtles at the Serpentarium

 

Granny and MM at Botany Bay

Mama and Mommy had two dinners out – woot! We also discovered the joy of Firefly sweet tea flavored vodka and lemonade. Highly recommended!

We spent every day on the beach and in the water. The MM took daily beach naps, mostly on me but on my mom one day as well (she was in heaven).

Our beach setup

 

Cousins on the beach

While we were in SC, we had a rented golfcart for the week so we can strike that one off the list as well. It is a life-saver as an activity that the kids love and the adults have fun with, too, when you’re not on the beach. Every evening we’d put the kids to bed and have cocktails and play games. The new favorite this year was Telestrations. A combination of Pictionary and Telephone – super fun and funny!

Boys passed out after day at the beach

It was great to catch up with family (my parents, my brother/sil/kids, aunt, cousin, 2nd cousin) and we dropped the news to them that we are interested in relocating, probably to the Southeast. This will tell me who is actually reading this blog 🙂 Yes, we’ve decided that we really need to leave SoCal – too expensive, unappealing school options, etc. I’ll do another entry on this later, but figured I’d drop it here since it was a big deal to let my family in on it. Yes, they are all working on helping me find a job already 🙂

In terms of the bucket list items that are not crossed off the list, I am still holding tickets for the local trampoline jumping place and we also have a certificate for dance classes for Monkey (Hip Hop!), so those will be happening in the coming weeks. I’m bummed that we never made Gym.bor.ee classes happen for my little MM. I will be getting that going, too, as it can happen while Monkey is in school (he started his third and final year of preschool today). Monkey had a playdate last week at Noah’s Ark, which we’ve been to before and love, so another one off the list.

Total of  15 bucket list items complete. By the end of August, it’ll be more like 18. Not a bad tally!

Summer Bucket List

• Trampoline place
• Science Center to see the space shuttle (Endeavor)
• Splash pad
• Monkey attends camp for the first time
• Swimming lessons
• Dance classes
• First Gymboree class for MM
• Fly to the beach and spend a week playing with family
• Ride in a golfcart
• Wash Grandma’s car – not happening due to the drought here in CA
• Go to the (local) beach
• Touch a Truck event
• Farmer’s Market
• Drum circle
• Plant flowers in pots on balcony – not happening due to the drought here in CA
• Go miniature golfing
• Go bowling
• Visit Noah’s Ark
• Go to Natural History Museum
• Take the MM swimming for the first time
• Mini vacation at fabulous resort on the beach (thanks, workplace!)
• Go to the zoo
• Go to the Getty
• NEW: 4th of July parade
• NEW: Go carts!
• NEW: Visit a California Mission

and…

I did not get the job. Interestingly, the HR woman I spoke with told me that they really liked me and thought I’d be a great fit with the company, just not in this particular role. That’s nice and all, but I’m telling you, I fit the role to a T (which is why their recruiter contacted me in the first place). I know that they meant it when she said they liked me because she told me there was another team within the co. that they thought would be a fit and they would forward my resume there today. She even told me which team in case I wanted to look up any opening with that team on the Web site. I think we know why they’ve been trying to fill this role for a year…

So, we are not moving – at least not yet. If another opportunity presents itself, I’d definitely take a look, so we’ll see. It was a good experience and I feel good to have gotten as far as I did. Moving right now would be challenging. I’d love it if another position came up in 6 months. THAT would be perfect timing 🙂

Thanks for playing along, my friends!

interview process complete

I don’t know if any of you have been through an all-day interview dealie, but let me tell you: it is BRUTAL! I was so happy to have that 30 minute pumping break just to relax and breathe for a minute. If I hadn’t scheduled that, there would have been no break at all. I met with 6 people in 6.5 hours. I was asked every “Tell me about a time…” question that has ever existed in the history of ever. It makes the normal interview process look like a piece of cake, let me tell you. So how’d I do? I think it went okay? There were some where I knew I did great and really connected with the interviewer and others where I just had no idea. You know, different people, different communication styles. I should know whether I got it by the end of this week. OMG! I can say that after interviewing on-site, I do want it. It sounds like a super cool job, I loved the casual not-at-all-corporate-feeling environment, and think I’d learn a ton.

I barely saw Seattle as we flew in late Sunday and out early evening on Monday, but what I saw I liked. The people are super friendly – even when you are on a plane with a 5 month old 🙂 The Marshmallow was fantastic on his first flight and whirlwind trip. Both of my boys were awesome. Monkey got rave reviews from Grandma and seemed to have fun during his “slumber party.” The MM did so well without me for all those hours on Monday (he doesn’t take a bottle so we were worried). He would not take a bottle this time either, but he had some rice cereal with breastmilk and got through just fine.

Now we wait and see if 1.) I’m offered the job, and 2.) the $$ is right. If so? We are moving to Seattle, my friends. MEEP!

and more new job thoughts

I went ahead and told the recruiter that I’d need one 20 minute break at the lunch hour and a place to pump. She congratulated me on the new baby and said they have Mother’s Rooms and she’d reserve one for me. So that’s done. Don’t know if it’ll be communicated to the team I’m interviewing with or how it will be received if it does, but I think it was a good call. It will relieve that bit of stress (and milk!) for me and I’m letting my possible future employer know I have a new baby and am serious about the work/life balance questions I’ve been asking. Besides, they came to me, not the other way around. I would never have been looking for a new job with a 5-month-old EBF infant, you know? So it’s up to them to make it work or not – and really, a 20 minute pumping break? So shouldn’t be a big deal. They don’t even know that I’m bringing DW and the Marshmallow with me – and I’m keeping it that way.

I’ve been having a bit of stress and am already quasi-mourning the full-time working at home setup I have currently. It’s been hitting me how much time I’m going to lose with the MM if this job goes through. I’ll go from being a WAH Mama, where I get tons of snuggle time and baby gets all the nursing time he wants/needs, to being out of the house for at least 8 hours every Mon-Fri. Of course, that’s the way most people in the workplace live – I’ve just been so very lucky with that aspect of my job.

It also hit me that we’ll have to somehow transport ourselves plus our 3 cats via plane to Seattle. Holy hell! How exactly does THAT work? We’ll need to find a new pre-school and someone we trust to be available to babysit the MM if needed (like when DW needs to see the dentist or doctor). We’ll have to find a place to live. Just all of the things moving entails with the added bonus of two kids under 4. I know, I know – people do it all the time. We’ll manage and it’ll be fine. Still, STRESSFUL!

Not to mention MiL will move up there at some point in the near future as well. We’ll have to somehow help her get her stuff up there (I’m thinking it’ll be in the form of $$), and she’ll likely have to stay with us for an extended amount of time while she finds a place. STRESSFUL!

But even with all of this, it still seems like an awesome opportunity in many ways. Now we’ll see if I actually get the job or if all of this stress has been for naught. Oh! And I just got a $10K/yr raise at my current job. So even if we don’t go, we have something nice if we end up staying 🙂 (Even with the bump, it’s not as much as I’d make at New Job, in case you’re wondering.)

job update

I got the call today – they are flying me up to Seattle for an interview a week from Monday. EEEEKKK!!!! Exciting and not a little terrifying. DW and the Marshmallow will join me and Monkey will stay at Grandma’s house for the night we’ll be gone. MM is still not on the bottle and I just can’t do an overnight without him at this point. It would be too hard on both of us. Tonight we have to tell Grandma all of this and she is not going to be happy. Wish us luck. I also have a question for you Mamas. I will need to pump at some point during my interview day as it is a full day of interviews. Should I:

• Tell the recruiter to schedule some time in for pumping (two 15 minute breaks)
• Bring my manual pump and just do quick pump and dumps to relieve my full breasts during bathroom breaks

I’m tempted to do the first as it would tell me something about the company to see how they react to this. Also they came to me – it’s not like I went to them and am trying to keep stuff under wraps to get hired, you know? That said, I do want this job! Would it be shady not to let them know until I show up for work? I don’t know!

ch-ch-ch-ch-changes

Hello, friends. My post title might be a bit ahead of itself, but I am feeling like this is going to happen, so…

I got contacted on Linked.In last week about a super-cool opportunity with a BIG company in Seattle (not Micro.Soft). I’ve already had 2 interviews (1 with the Big Co. recruiter and 1 with a woman who would be my co-worker). I have another scheduled for Friday afternoon with the hiring manager. The position is a perfect fit with my experience and my interests. My current position, though super awesome in terms of flexible schedule and light workload, is not where my heart lies professionally. DW and I had a serious discussion about this possible relocation last night and I think we’re ready to do it if I’m offered the job at the salary I want.

Pros:

• Big pay jump
• We could buy a house right now instead of waiting years like we’d have to do in LA (wait for DW to return to work)
• We could probably keep our LA condo as a rental property
• Back to the type of work I like with a big, respected, well-known company
• Gay marriage is legal in WA, liberal state
• We have to move anyway at some point and Big Co will cover packing and moving expenses
• We have talked about the possibility of moving to the Pacific NW

Cons:

• We like living in LA and we like our neighborhood (that said, we can’t afford to buy a house in our area so we’d be out of here at some point anyway)
• Monkey’s co-op preschool is awesome – would be sad to leave such a nice community of people
• Have to work hard to ramp up at new job – currently in a kind of cushy position and work-from-home full-time
• Less time with the Marshmallow as I’d be in the office rather than at home – I also worry about my milk supply if I’m pumping in the office rather than at home nursing

It just seems like too good an opportunity in so many ways to pass up. I am terrified at the prospect of moving out of state with 2 small children. Hopefully my mom could come out and help us.

Yes, I’d say shit just got real.

PS: If you are my friend on Face.Book, PLEASE do not mention this there. I have some work friends on there and we are not mentioning this to MiL until/unless an offer is made.

we heart stress!

We are being true to form and jumping into two huge life-changing activities at the same time. Some of you might recall that we did a major remodel during my pregnancy with Monkey. Apparently we just love tackling multiple projects at the same time. Argh.

First, we have retained a realtor and are seriously starting to house-hunt. We plan to keep our condo and rent it out. And we are doing all of this on one income (mine). It seems like the housing prices in our area are just starting to creep up and we’re worried if we wait a couple of years until DW is back at work, we’ll be priced out. So, here we go. We’re hoping to buy a 3-4 bedroom house a few miles to the north of where we are now (we’d prefer to stay in our community, but we can’t afford what we want here). Pros: MORE SPACE LESS CLUTTER, a yard for Monkey, a better home office set up for me, no more living on a busy street. Cons: Moving (ugh), stress over the rental aspects of the condo, stress over money (what if the condo sits empty for any length of time?), leaving our neighborhood.

Second, we will be starting on what we think will be our final TTC attempt for #2 when my period arrives (any second now). We will be trying with our two strongest embryos post-thaw and figure it is our best shot. Of course, we could change our minds and try another time with our twice-frozen embie(s), but it just seems like such a long-shot with the twice-frozens. I feel pretty good about giving it one last go and then either being PG or settling in with our “only.” I am off the caffeine and trying to eat less junk, more good stuff.

So, we might be going through the stress of a major move while Mama is in the first trimester of a pregnancy. Sounds fun, no? If Monkey’s preschool doesn’t let him start in August due to not being potty trained, we are majorly screwed. So counting on those hours to pack and do all of the annoying things involved with moving.