Tag Archives: behavior issues

Bucket list round-up

We ended up not doing quite a bit on the bucket list. I think we’ll still enroll the MM in swimming lessons at a local indoor pool, and we’ll probably be getting bikes before next summer. I kind of feel like I’ve failed as a parent that my almost 8YO has never ridden a regular bike. Gotta get on it.

We did go on our yearly Edisto trip and it was kind of a disaster. We probably won’t go next year. My brother brought along his GF and basically hung out with her, leaving the rest of us caring for his 2 kids + the extra friend my niece brought. I told my mom it was a bad idea to include the GF, primarily because, call me crazy but, I thought a week focusing on his kids who just went through a divorce might be nice. There was a family blow up around mid-week over it. We’ve had these issues with him before. The sad thing is all the cousins absolutely love hanging out and that will be a bit curtailed. Thinking we’ll visit my parents more often so they get to see each other, but vacationing together is rather miserable. The kids all had a great time and that is most important.

Since my last update, we attended another Bulls game, which is always fun, and both boys attended their various camps, which they enjoyed. Grandma also moved to NC and bought a house, which is a whoooole other post all on its own.

The MM update
The MM started at a new outdoor preschool this year, which we were/are excited about. We love their philosophy and that they are outside playing in the woods most of each day. He has been enjoying it, but we are having some hiccups lately. He has been hitting other kids, primarily one girl (!!!!). He got sent home yesterday because he did it more than 3 times. I’m not sure why he’s doing it and we are talking to him about it. He had consequences as well (no tablet time yesterday and he had to miss his Li.ttle G.ym play date). He is super stubborn and kind of defiant sometimes, and he acts like he doesn’t really care about consequences. Typically, though, he’ll come around and end up apologizing sincerely at some point. Hoping this is a stage and that it passes quickly. If I recall correctly with Monkey, behavior issues vastly improved at around 5, so here’s hoping.

We signed him up for fall baseball with the same league Monkey played with and it was a complete failure. He participated just fine the first practice. After that? Nope. Would not go on the field, nothing. We tried for a couple of weeks and then pulled him. Sigh.

The MM loves to build Lego sets, play with superhero figures, and play on his tablet (he is not as into it as his brother). He is a funny, deep-thinking, opinionated kid.

Monkey update
Monkey is now in second grade (wtf) and unfortunately, he has a bad teacher this year. She is far more interested in kids falling in line than in their learning. Monkey has gotten in trouble for humming, talking to classmates, and typical 7YO boy stuff. One day she sent him from the room crying because he was daydreaming (he says he was thinking) and that was the point at which we went in and talked with her. She told us he is a sweet boy and not at all a behavior problem (but she’s sent home 7 “reflections” as of this writing). She is a stickler for the rules and we are trying to just work with it. I’m keeping track of everything and am prepared to escalate if things get worse. Sigh.

Monkey is still loving reading (makes my heart so happy), and his tablet (heart, not so happy here – lol). He is a kind, loving, gregarious kid.

General updates

  • We sold our condo in CA (in June) and used some of the proceeds to purchase 2 cars: a black 2017 Toy.ota High.land.er and a silver 2014 Hon.da CR.V.
  • Halloween is almost here! Monkey is going to be Frank.enstein’s Monster and the MM is going to be a cat (for a friend’s party this weekend) and Buzz Lightyear for Halloween (getting to reuse that awesome costume of Monkey’s).
  • In early December, we’re going to Hilton Head for a few days with my mom.
  • My dad has been in Houston since the hurricane, working for FEMA. He’ll be there through the end of the year at least, with a break at Christmas. Guess his 45-supporting ass is at least paying his dues. Sigh.
  • I continue to rage through the dumpster fire that is our current administration. Trying to muster the courage to make an appointment with a therapist…

BUCKET LIST

  1. Visit Granny, Papa, and cousins for pool time. NOT DONE
  2. Go on yearly Edisto beach trip (mid-July). DONE
  3. Get library cards. DONE
  4. Attend one Durham Bulls game per month. June: DONE July: DONE
  5. Go boating with local friends. DONE
  6. Get bikes for the family (finally). NOT DONE
  7. Put an Intex pool in the back yard. NOT DONE
  8. Go strawberry picking with friends. NOT DONE
  9. Enroll in swimming lessons (the MM). NOT DONE
  10. Attend summer camp. DONE
  11. Help Grandma move to Raleigh (mid-June). DONE
  12. Go to Carowinds (mid-August). NOT DONE
  13. Plan a local family vacay. NOT DONE
Advertisements

Leave a comment

Filed under Uncategorized

threenager woes

BOOBS UPDATE: I went yesterday for my follow up, they did more scans (no ultrasound), and had a doctor take a look. They think it’s fine and want me to come in again in 6 months to take another look. I guess they are getting a baseline? Not all that reassuring, but I guess if they were worried, they’d be looking further now, right?

————————————–

Since we are in the midst of having a raging threenager, I thought I’d do a post about the MM. You may recall in previous posts that I’ve referred to him as a unicorn baby, a good sleeper, a mellow guy. And he always was…until 3.5. For the past few months, this guy has been terrorizing kids at school, hitting us, saying mean things, and just living balls out 3.

He’s been sent to the director’s office at his preschool many times, once twice in one day (DW had to go in and talk to him and director). He hits, kicks, pushes, and “sits on” other kids at school. He seemed to have it in for one particular little girl for a while, much to our horror. DW hears from his teacher almost daily about his bad behavior. We talk to him about it, work with him on being a good friend, being empathetic, acceptable ways to express anger/frustration. Still, on he goes and seems quite gleeful about it:

Me: What will you say to A tomorrow? [Kid he hurt on previous day, after we discuss apologizing, etc.]
The MM: Nofing – I will hit and kick and sit on A! [Laughs.]

He has some good days, but more bad than good. He is super clingy to Mama (me) lately and showers me with affection in the evenings. I know that some kids at 3 are biters, hitters, etc. so we’re trying to keep it in perspective and continue to discuss and model positive behaviors. Still, it’s shitty to think your kid is the classroom bully.

We have enrolled him in a new preschool for next year. It’s an all outdoor one like our beloved CA co-op and Monkey has gone to summer camp there the last couple of years and LOVED it. We’re hopeful that a new setting and more outdoor activity will help. He has told us he doesn’t like school, so maybe this will be better? Or maybe he’ll turn 4 and start growing out of this?

It didn’t help to see this article linking Mira.lax to aggressive behavior. The MM had some constipation trouble right before this behavior started and was on a low-dose of Mira.lax for a couple of months. We took him off of it when we saw the article just in case – no difference in behavior. We’re also going to discuss going to 3 days per week at his current school (he goes 5 days currently) with the director for the rest of the school year.

ION, he is also still not potty trained. He’ll be four April 29. He absolutely gets it, understands, could totally do it but – WILL NOT. Sigh.

This parenting thing? No joke, y’all. No joke. Tell me encouraging stories? Please?

2 Comments

Filed under Uncategorized

the terrible twos/the throw-stuff threes

This is kind of a vent post, a “please tell me others are experiencing this as well” post, and a HELP! post all rolled into one. Monkey has been sick for the last few days (nothing serious – just runny nose, slight fever) and his sleep? Has just fallen apart over the last couple of weeks. It is HELL to get him to go to bed at night lately and he is not getting enough overnight sleep (typically 8-9.5 hours). So he is way overtired and is acting out like crazy. I know part of it is normal for his age, but I think a big part of it is that he is just plain tired. He hits us, throws things at us, yells at us and is just a little terror in general for the better part of most days lately. It hurts physically and it hurts my feelings. Since I’m pregnant, I have a hard time keeping my emotions in check during these altercations and I either cry or am kind of mean back to him. I don’t want to do either of these things. I want to be the calm, rational parent who is in control of the situation. I’m so not (and DW isn’t really either, though she does better than I do these days).

We are on the AP side of the the parenting fence for the most part, so we haven’t done time outs and the like. Honestly, Monkey is such an intense kid I don’t think time outs would work with him. When he is in the midst of one of these episodes, he’s manic and upset and nothing you can say gets through – it would just be an epic battle. I find that what seems to work best is the old distraction game. Like last night, I was trying to get him to lay down and go to sleep. He was refusing, hitting me, getting all crazy. So I looked around the room in desperation and noticed the blinds making a stripey pattern on the ceiling. I pointed it out, “Look! Let’s lay down and look at the stripes.” Totally worked! We laid down together and looked and talked about the stripes and I even got hugs and kisses from the boy who two seconds earlier was beating me about the head. Of course, it didn’t work longer term – it took over an hour to get him to sleep with Mama and Mommy taking turns when it got too ridiculous. But I did learn a new strategy that I hope will work in the future. At least it seemed to help defuse the situation and calm us both down a bit.

So? Are you experiencing this type of behavior as well? If so, how do you handle it?

5 Comments

Filed under Uncategorized