Tag Archives: behavior issues

threenager woes

BOOBS UPDATE: I went yesterday for my follow up, they did more scans (no ultrasound), and had a doctor take a look. They think it’s fine and want me to come in again in 6 months to take another look. I guess they are getting a baseline? Not all that reassuring, but I guess if they were worried, they’d be looking further now, right?

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Since we are in the midst of having a raging threenager, I thought I’d do a post about the MM. You may recall in previous posts that I’ve referred to him as a unicorn baby, a good sleeper, a mellow guy. And he always was…until 3.5. For the past few months, this guy has been terrorizing kids at school, hitting us, saying mean things, and just living balls out 3.

He’s been sent to the director’s office at his preschool many times, once twice in one day (DW had to go in and talk to him and director). He hits, kicks, pushes, and “sits on” other kids at school. He seemed to have it in for one particular little girl for a while, much to our horror. DW hears from his teacher almost daily about his bad behavior. We talk to him about it, work with him on being a good friend, being empathetic, acceptable ways to express anger/frustration. Still, on he goes and seems quite gleeful about it:

Me: What will you say to A tomorrow? [Kid he hurt on previous day, after we discuss apologizing, etc.]
The MM: Nofing – I will hit and kick and sit on A! [Laughs.]

He has some good days, but more bad than good. He is super clingy to Mama (me) lately and showers me with affection in the evenings. I know that some kids at 3 are biters, hitters, etc. so we’re trying to keep it in perspective and continue to discuss and model positive behaviors. Still, it’s shitty to think your kid is the classroom bully.

We have enrolled him in a new preschool for next year. It’s an all outdoor one like our beloved CA co-op and Monkey has gone to summer camp there the last couple of years and LOVED it. We’re hopeful that a new setting and more outdoor activity will help. He has told us he doesn’t like school, so maybe this will be better? Or maybe he’ll turn 4 and start growing out of this?

It didn’t help to see this article linking Mira.lax to aggressive behavior. The MM had some constipation trouble right before this behavior started and was on a low-dose of Mira.lax for a couple of months. We took him off of it when we saw the article just in case – no difference in behavior. We’re also going to discuss going to 3 days per week at his current school (he goes 5 days currently) with the director for the rest of the school year.

ION, he is also still not potty trained. He’ll be four April 29. He absolutely gets it, understands, could totally do it but – WILL NOT. Sigh.

This parenting thing? No joke, y’all. No joke. Tell me encouraging stories? Please?

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the terrible twos/the throw-stuff threes

This is kind of a vent post, a “please tell me others are experiencing this as well” post, and a HELP! post all rolled into one. Monkey has been sick for the last few days (nothing serious – just runny nose, slight fever) and his sleep? Has just fallen apart over the last couple of weeks. It is HELL to get him to go to bed at night lately and he is not getting enough overnight sleep (typically 8-9.5 hours). So he is way overtired and is acting out like crazy. I know part of it is normal for his age, but I think a big part of it is that he is just plain tired. He hits us, throws things at us, yells at us and is just a little terror in general for the better part of most days lately. It hurts physically and it hurts my feelings. Since I’m pregnant, I have a hard time keeping my emotions in check during these altercations and I either cry or am kind of mean back to him. I don’t want to do either of these things. I want to be the calm, rational parent who is in control of the situation. I’m so not (and DW isn’t really either, though she does better than I do these days).

We are on the AP side of the the parenting fence for the most part, so we haven’t done time outs and the like. Honestly, Monkey is such an intense kid I don’t think time outs would work with him. When he is in the midst of one of these episodes, he’s manic and upset and nothing you can say gets through – it would just be an epic battle. I find that what seems to work best is the old distraction game. Like last night, I was trying to get him to lay down and go to sleep. He was refusing, hitting me, getting all crazy. So I looked around the room in desperation and noticed the blinds making a stripey pattern on the ceiling. I pointed it out, “Look! Let’s lay down and look at the stripes.” Totally worked! We laid down together and looked and talked about the stripes and I even got hugs and kisses from the boy who two seconds earlier was beating me about the head. Of course, it didn’t work longer term – it took over an hour to get him to sleep with Mama and Mommy taking turns when it got too ridiculous. But I did learn a new strategy that I hope will work in the future. At least it seemed to help defuse the situation and calm us both down a bit.

So? Are you experiencing this type of behavior as well? If so, how do you handle it?

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