random baby-related musings

I got an invoice for storing my remaining 8 or so embryos for the year. Of course, it brought up the issue of a second child. We are both feeling very torn on the issue currently. We can’t even imagine having another baby on top of our current baby. It is already so hard, and I wouldn’t say S is a difficult baby. He seems pretty normal (no reflux, colic, or anything like that). Maybe it’s just not in the cards for us. It makes me kind of sad for S, but I don’t think that is necessarily the best reason to have another baby. Anyway, we paid for storage through February as we’re not quite ready to call it. I guess we’ll see where we are when the next invoice arrives.

It seems like most of my bloggy friends are planning to have a second child, which makes me wonder what our deal is that we feel so overwhelmed with one. Maybe because we’re older? I don’t know. Is there anyone out there with a singleton and plan to stay that way?
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S is teething like crazy. It looks like he has one coming in on the bottom, which is a first for him (having only one tooth coming in). He seems to have trouble with those lowers and not so much with the uppers.
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I’m sure I’m boring the hell out of all of you with this, but sleep continues to be problematic. He is pretty much in our bed all night at this point, which works for him but not so great for us. He starts in his bed around 6PM and usually wakes at least once before we go to bed around 9:30/10:00PM. He wakes up then and nurses and I try to get him back in his crib at that point, but I often fail or fall asleep before trying. We are living in fear of the daylight savings time change coming up as he is already going to sleep early and waking early 5:00/5:30AM. Any ideas on this, or about shifting bedtime out in general?
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I didn’t get in to see my OB last Friday re: post-partum depression as he had an emergency. Hoping to get in sometime this week.

>OB visit

>The good: OB is pleased with how I’m doing. Weight is good as is everything else. Baby’s heartbeat sounded great and he showed off his kicking skills. I’ll be visiting the OB every two weeks now. Wow.

The bad: I mentioned my back pain and she told me some stuff I can do but said not to use a heating pad. Oops! I’ve been using a heating pad. She gave me an alarmed look and said it could “cook” the baby. Holy shit. I hope I haven’t hurt the little man… One more thing to worry about.

The ugly: She was talking about scheduling the C-section on Dec. 23, meaning I’d be in the hospital through Christmas. It’s not set in stone or anything but damn, I hope that doesn’t happen.

>family – grrrr

>My SiL is a total pain in the ass. I avoid her when I can help it (which isn’t too difficult considering she lives on the opposite coast), but sometimes I can’t help it. She had back surgery on Thursday and DW shamed me into calling her tonight to see how she was doing. I know it was the right thing to do, but all I got was insults for my trouble. She congratulated me on making 12 weeks and then launched into how she hates “the nugget” nickname and we “have to stop using it.” Then she proceeds to tell me that my mom shared our names with her and while she likes one, she does not like the other. She went into great detail on why she dislikes both the nugget and our name. I’m like, “I don’t recall asking for opinions.” Of course, I didn’t say much of anything because this is her normal behavior and calling her on it doesn’t change a thing. It’s difficult having someone you extremely dislike in your family. For the record, no one in the family can stand her (with the exception of my brother, I guess).

It got me mad at my mom, too, as she has also shared that she isn’t really into our boy name (the same one my SiL dislikes). Last time we talked, I told her, “Hey, you got to name your babies and now it’s my turn to name mine.” She took it well and I had really moved on, but this call got me pissed about it as I’m wondering why my mom shared the names with SiL and if she sat there saying she didn’t like the name either. If you knew what the name is, you’d be shocked by this negative reaction. It is not an unusual name at all. Certainly not anywhere near Crimson or Clover (honest to God baby name considerations of my brother and SiL). These people are seriously pissing me off!

IOPregnancyN: 

• I got all kinds of blood drawn today for multiple tests (glucose, genetic screening, and other stuff). Here’s hoping all of the results are good. 
• DW and I bought our first baby items today – 2 adorable Lucky Brand onesies that were half off. 
• My morning sickness has been really bad this week (week 12!). Still no throwing up, but more gagging and sickly feeling than usual. I thought it was supposed to taper off, not continue rising!
• I went looking at maternity clothes because I feel so large and have not very many items that I feel good wearing. I found, however, that I’m  not so very large as the maternity stuff is too big for me and I was able to find loose-fitting stuff in my normal sizes that should last me for a while. Good discovery was that there is a fairly large maternity section in the Baby Gap at the mall. Yay!

>exhaustion

>I am having a really hard time focusing at work. Granted, I’ve been a bit removed from it for a while (longer than I’ve been PG), but that is definitely a factor. In the last 2 and a half years, I’ve had the following going on:

• Started and completed a Masters degree in Information Science (while still working)
• Lost DW’s father after a lengthy battle with leukemia
• Had a year of TTC with fertility doctors
• Had surgery (myomectomy)
• Lost a pregnancy
• Got pregnant again

I just feel completely physically and emotionally exhausted. Not to mention I’m off my anti-depressants and experiencing PG hormones. I’ve been having fantasies of getting laid off, which is terrible I know. My work is not really stressful right now, I love most of my co-workers and my boss, so I have to just chalk it up to exhaustion. I told DW that I want to take as much time as I can for my maternity leave even if some of it is unpaid. I just need to get away from it (and of course spend as much time as I can with my new baby – so weird to think of having a little baby!). I’m not sure how I’m going to make it through the next 6.5 months!

>heartbeat update

>140 BPM 🙂

>nerves

>After reading other’s posts (hi, Jen and DZ!) on their heart rates, I am annoyed and nervous about my u/s on Monday. My RE just doesn’t share info as freely as I would like. I did not get a BPM, but DW claims that he said 40 BPM. After Googling, I am scared as hell if that is true as it is extremely low. RE acted thrilled and like all was great, so I’m hoping she misheard or something but this is a continuing trend with him and the coordinator. I just emailed RE to find out what the BPM actually was.

To top it off, I’m all nervous because today I feel totally normal (no morning sickness or anything) so I’ve half convinced myself I’ve m/c or am about to. I hate this! I haven’t shared any of this with DW because I think I’m probably just paranoid and don’t want to worry her over nothing. I am so ready to move on to an OB. My RE is just lacking in the sharing of information department. Ugh.

>sleeping woes and positive vibes

>I’m not typically a great sleeper, but lately it’s progressed into craziness. I wake up constantly all night long and usually get up at some point for about an hour. When my body/mind is finally ready to sleep, it’s about 1-2 hours before the alarm goes off so I’m dead tired when it does. Not to mention the cranky all day part. Any natural sleep remedies that work for you? So. Tired.

Good friends of ours (who have a 2-month-old son) have probably lost their home in the Santa Barbara fire (their street has been mentioned in various news reports as hard hit). They got evacuated again last night at 2AM from the motel they were staying at. It’s really awful. Join me in hoping that the fire is under control ASAP and that their home is still there. Poor people.

>symptoms already?

>I didn’t have much in the way of symptoms last time around (sore boobs is all that I recall), but I’m feeling quite a bit this go around and it’s early! I’m only 4w 5d! Anyway, I’m having slight nausea, ye olde sore boobs, and TMI – constipation (ick). I also cry at nothing (a song, tv, anything that strikes me) and have what we have termed Nugget Rage. This is when I get irrationally furious over nothing. Take the other day when Robek’s made my drink too thick to drink through the straw and then I couldn’t get a spoon to eat it with as we were at a movie theater and they didn’t have them. Cue the NUGGET RAGE!!!!! Poor DW. Lucky for me she finds the incidents amusing so far. It is not like me at all (I’m pretty mellow most of the time).

This is making me hopeful for this pregnancy, but I’m not taking anything for granted. Here’s hoping my symptoms keep on increasing. Stay tuned for more incidents of Nugget Rage.