Category Archives: FET

>beta #3

>Came in at a whopping 3434! I’m wondering if we’re looking at twins (meep). I’m just relieved it went up. These milestones are too damned stressful. Next up is the u/s for heartbeat on 5/18. So I get to be PG for another 2 weeks at least. Probably not the healthiest way to think about it, but there it is.

Come on, nugget(s)!

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>beta #2

>173. It needed to double from 61 and it did. RE was happy with it, but I still find myself wishing it were higher. Our next step is another beta next Monday.

We have begun calling the baby “the nugget.” Stick, nugget, stick!

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Filed under beta, FET, nugget

>pregnant, part II

>Well, I am pregnant. My beta was 61, which at first freaked me out because it’s lower than last time (74), but then I remembered that we tested a few days earlier this time so I think I’m actually ahead. Of course, my RE said 74 was a great number and today that 61 is a great number so this is all my own conjecture.

Now trying to reconcile the YAY I’M PREGNANT with will it last this time around feelings. Cautiously optimistic. Any vibes/prayers you’d like to send my way would be much appreciated 🙂

I go back on Monday for beta #2. Here’s hoping I get to be pregnant for more than just the weekend.

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>dreams

>I had a dream last night that I had a baby boy. He was way bigger than a newborn, but DW and I were oohing and aahhing over him. My aunt and uncle were also in the dream, which is weird as I’m not in close contact with them – they live on the other side of the country. In the dream I asked DW, “What are we naming him?” And she was like, “What do you mean? We have a name picked out.” And it was the name we do have picked out (hey, it’s a dream – I wouldn’t have been surprised if it were a different name). I’m taking it as a good omen 🙂

Beta at 9:30.

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post-FET

The transfer went well (I hope) on Friday. We had 2 straws with 4 embryos and 1 straw with 3. RE wanted to use one with 4, so we went with it. All 4 embryos survived the thaw, and my RE was hoping to put in at least 3. We had already talked about it and decided that we just didn’t want to risk it so we had them put in 2. Like DW said, with our luck lately, we’d end up being the .2% that ends up pregnant with quads. Of the 4 embryos, 2 were excellent grade and 2 were good, so I feel fine with just transferring the 2 excellent ones. Here’s hoping at least one is sticking!

We transferred the bottom two embryos:
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In other news, I seem to have developed an allergy to the PIO shots. They have been extremely painful this time around and have been leaving giant bruised welts. My butt has gone from sore to HOLY HELL I CAN’T SIT DOWN. RE is switching me to suppositories, which will have their own fun, but damn will I be glad to get my ass back!
Beta on Friday 4/24…

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Filed under FET, pain, progesterone, waiting

>heading into FET land

>Friday’s ultrasound was good – RE said the lining looked “beautiful.” They also took blood and I heard back today that it was great. We start PIO injections tomorrow night, so I’ll have some nights of double butt injections (PIO and Delestrogen). Ow! I also start the Medrol dose packs on Monday. FET is on for Friday morning, but I don’t have a specific appointment time yet.

I’m not nearly as excited this time around as last. I guess it’s to be expected after a m/c, but I’m trying not to be pessimistic. Just don’t want to get my hopes up for nothing. I wish it wasn’t so hard.

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>remodel

>Since I mentioned it in my last post, I figured I’d blog a bit about our upcoming remodel. Our place was built in the 70s and had no real upgrades when we moved in 5 years ago. Since we’ve been there, we’ve replaced all the flooring (removed nasty carpet and put in laminate that looks like dark wood), painted every room in the place, and remodeled our small guest bathroom about a year ago (check it out here). The master bath and kitchen are both in need, but we have replaced all of our kitchen appliances, so we decided the master bath is our next project. I’m going to take before and after pics again (like we did for small bathroom). It’s exciting but I hate the process.

We are in the midst of packing up everything in our bedroom, including 3 bedroom closets, and will be moving into our guest room/office for the duration (starting 4/22, lasting 6-8 weeks). The wife is worried about possibly pregnant me breathing in the dust and sleeping on a futon, but my RE assured us that it’s fine. I’m so glad because I know that once there’s a baby, remodeling ain’t gonna be happening anytime soon. We are doing the master in a very similar style to the guest bathroom. The major differences are that it will have a tub/shower combo rather than just a shower, double vanity (yay!), and the tile will be the same but in a blue/gray color rather than the cream/tan. I’m so excited!!!

On the TTC front, I have an ultrasound this Friday afternoon to check my lining and we are still scheduled for the transfer on 4/17. Less than two weeks! I am both excited and scared. DW continues to be the sweetest. She is very positive about our chances and is still giving injections like a pro.

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>emerging from the blahs

>The last few days have been a little rough. Nothing too serious, just kind of depressed and not wanting to do anything. I had trouble sleeping Sunday and Monday nights, so I worked from home yesterday so I could sleep in and just hang out. Not the best idea as I was home alone to brood and think without interruption. Working from home used to be great but since the miscarriage, I find that I prefer to be at work where I have to interact and don’t get the time to think too much. Lately when I find myself feeling badly and thinking about the miscarriage, I get this mental image of Charlie Brown hitting the ground with a WHAM after Lucy has pulled the football away from him:

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It is oddly comforting. Weird, right? Baby as football. But the WHAM part is what it feels like. To have that baby dangled in front of you and then just taken away, just like that. That is a cruel trick, nature.

We started the Delestrogen injections last night and our FET is 2 weeks from Friday. Yesterday I started Googling FET and age and found all this doom and gloom and then remembered that in medical cases, Google is not your friend. I’m trying to focus on the fact that I have 8 frozen embryos, all excellent quality, and on my doctor’s insistence that this is going to work. I find myself really wishing for twins so that I never have to even think about going through this process again. DW wants to adopt a second, and I’m fine with that except that it seems like the adoption process could be just as all-consuming as TTC is and right now, I don’t know that I can do it again.

Anyway, today I’m at work and feeling better about things. Hoping April has a nice surprise in store for us.

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Filed under FET, grief, miscarriage