Category Archives: antidepressants

13 months

Before I get to S’s update, I just wanted to thank you for your kind words on my work post. As it turns out, I managed to get a plan in place and got us where we need to be by end-of-day Friday (with a lot of help from my awesome co-workers). Now my crazy boss is treating me like a hero – I saved the day! Whiplash. Well, now I know what needs to happen and I’m going to get off my butt and stop slacking. (I may also need to talk to someone about upping my AD meds.)

S turned 13 months on 1/21! His biggest advancements are in language: he understands (and is trying to say) several words. He knows book, ball, truck, wheel, kitty, milk, and “Is Your Mama a Llama?” I ask, “Where is the ball?” He crawls to one, holds it up, and says, “Ba!” (Does that count as his first word? I know he isn’t totally saying ball, but he knows what it is and is making the attempt.) I know he understands “Is Your Mama a Llama” because out of the blue, I looked at him and said, “Is your Mama a Llama?” He crawled over to the coffee table, where there were a few books, and picked up the Llama one! What a genius! 🙂

He is not yet walking, but I think it’s more that he hasn’t quite figured out he could. He finger-walks and cruises like a champ and is very sturdy on his feet. It’s going to happen any day now.

Baby is teething like a madman right now. He doesn’t let us get a good look, but I’ve seen at least two coming in on top, and 3 coming in on the bottom (molars, too). We are doing a lot of Motrin these days, poor baby.

Sleep continues to be a challenge. It is usually not a problem to get him to sleep (nurse, bounce him around while singing, put in crib – generally takes about 10-15 minutes). It’s that he wakes fairly frequently throughout the night to nurse, and he is up EARLY. The other day he was up for the day at 3:30AM. OMG. I’m really hoping that once his teeth are in and he can walk, his sleep will improve. (BTW, we move him to our bed for the night on his first wake up once we are in bed.)

The sleep thing is so so so hard. I know my extreme lack of sleep is the main culprit behind my inability to focus at work and my need for meds. It is also a major factor in our discussions on having another baby. We’re thinking that if we decide we want another, we would try this summer (assuming my period is back – still nursing, no period now). The thought of two babies with sleep issues to deal with is enough to make me say HELL NO, but I don’t want to look back and regret it. I know that the baby stage is over so quickly in the scheme of things.

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Filed under 13 months, antidepressants, baby #2, nursing, sleep

the more moms, the merrier

Remember that two mama family I mentioned a few posts back that we sat in our pediatrician’s waiting room with? Remember how I was bummed out that we didn’t try to strike up a conversation? Well, fast forward to yesterday at our first Gymboree music class. For once, we were not the only two mom family in the group! There they were! When the class ended one of them approached and was like, “Weren’t we in the waiting room with you guys at the ped’s office?” So we exchanged information and are going to arrange a play date! Their son is 1 week older than S. How totally crazy is that? I am SO excited! They live very nearby. It seems like we were totally meant to meet. So glad we ran into them again and got a second chance to connect. Here’s hoping we all hit it off.

The Gymboree music class went pretty well for baby. He enjoyed banging on the big drum they had in the middle of the room and he really liked playing with the scarves. I think he got a bit overwhelmed a few times (got kind of clingy), but with time, I think he’ll really like it. He interacted with a few of the other babies, which was cool to watch.

I am feeling much better these days. I am back on my a/ds (almost 2 weeks now) and things are really improving. My patience seems to be making a comeback and I’m dealing much better with the sleep situation. I am able to see the positive in it (my gorgeous baby snuggled up to me in the night) rather than focusing on the sleep I’m missing. I was even able to enjoy my weekend in the midst of work craziness without it consuming me. Ahhhh.

My dad is in the hospital and has been in and out for the last month with horrible stomach issues. They finally pulled his gallbladder, but it doesn’t appear to be the cause. I am getting really worried and I know my mom is at her wit’s end. Here’s hoping they find and fix whatever is causing his suffering. It sucks!

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Filed under antidepressants, family, gymboree

update on me

Thanks so much for all of the support on my last entry. You women rock. I am feeling much better today. I talked to my wife on Friday about how I’m feeling and together we decided I should call my OB and take action on the issue. I’ve had some pretty extreme anxiety and anger (anxiety is normal for me, but anger is so not) since giving birth that I was kind of ignoring/managing on my own and now that work has really heated up, everything is amplified and I can no longer manage it internally. I was so happy to feel like I didn’t need to be on my meds anymore that I was really trying to handle everything to avoid feeling like a failure (I know, I know – not a failure, but sometimes my brain is stupid). Anyway, I’m seeing my OB on Friday to discuss a plan of action. Just setting it in motion has made me feel like some of the pressure is off.

In baby news, S is continuing to be a sweet, active little guy. He also continues to wake several times in the night and is up for the day anywhere between 4AM-5:45AM. We tried sleep training again, but we couldn’t do it. He screamed and cried and it was a scared, terrified cry, not an angry one. We both felt like it was damaging, so we stopped it. We are trying to get him down to one nursing in the night, and that can take a while so here’s hoping it works. If you have had success with any gentle sleep training, please share your story.

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Filed under antidepressants, sleep

depression

I think I’m sliding down the slippery slope of depression. Work is just awful right now and combined with the not sleeping and the worry of getting laid off at any moment, I’m feeling pretty low. I finally had a crying fit earlier today, which did nothing but maybe take a bit of the steam out of my upset for a brief moment. Now instead of fury I’m just feeling beaten down. I’ve been off the antidepressants and doing well without them since before getting pregnant with S, but wondering if I need to get back on. Since I’m still breastfeeding, I wonder if that means switching to a different one, which may have its own set issues as the one I was on worked just fine.

I feel like an ass even complaining when I have my perfect wonderful baby and a job that pays well enough for DW to be a SAHM and offers me a flexible schedule (hell, or even a job at all in this economy), but what can I say? My job is just sucking the life out of me.

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>early pg

>Thanks for all of your feedback on my last post. TG, I agree with your post most definitely. I have decided to go off my meds completely for now (stopped on Friday), and should I feel the need to go back on later, I’ll go through a therapist instead of my regular doctor. I could definitely use some coping strategies in addition to (instead of?) meds. I think at least part of what I was experiencing was due to Lexapro withdrawal, so I’ll wait a couple of weeks and see if things improve. I’ve also been told that you have to go off during the third trimester, so I figured I might as well bite the bullet and go off now. I’ll also talk to my OB once I have one. I already feel a little relieved to have finally just made a decision!

I’m hoping to hear from my RE today on next steps. I assume the next thing will be the first u/s for a heartbeat, but I’d like to hear something from him. I haven’t talked to him since my transfer! I got my BFP and beta numbers from the coordinator. Maybe he’s out of town. Don’t they know we pregnant ladies are anxious about getting all our info??

This morning I had cereal and a small bowl of fruit for breakfast. I was still hungry afterwards (which is totally weird for me as I’m not a fan of eating in the morning) so now I’m snacking on Goldfish crackers. Haha!

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>ADs and pregnancy

>I’d love some feedback from any of you on antidepressants. I am on Lexapro for anxiety. I tried going off of it while TTC as I didn’t want to be on it during my pregnancy. When I was off, I had trouble sleeping, had a lot of anxiety, and experienced stomach problems (which are common and stress-related for me when I’m not on ADs). I talked to my doctor (general practice, not an OB) and she advised me to stay on the Lexapro until I got pregnant and then discuss it with my OB. I did that. About a week ago, though, I cut my dose in half (doctor said this was okay if I wanted to try it). I am back to anxiety and sleeplessness and it worries me for my baby/ies. I don’t know which is worse for a developing baby – stress or drugs. Do any of you have any experience with this? I’d love to hear from you!

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Filed under antidepressants, BFP