preschool update

We’ve decided to pull F from his current preschool. There have been a few things he’s told us in the last couple of months that make me ready to pull the trigger. Tell me what you think:

  • F threw dirt at another child while playing outside and, according to F, the teacher’s assistant told the other child to throw dirt back at him. Um, no. F volunteered this story to us, but you know, 3-year-olds aren’t always the most reliable so we felt a little weird about it, told F that was not how it should be handled, etc. and moved on.
  • F told me one day that he was put in time out by the teacher’s teenaged son. The son has been in the classroom a few times and DW and I have been kind of baffled and unsettled by it (he’s not an employee of the school, I’m certain there has been no background check). When F told me the boy picked him up and put him in time out I was like WTFF? Again, NO.
  • Yesterday F told DW that the teacher’s assistant, “Hit me in the bottom.” !!!!! But in the next breath, he said she also hit another child in the head with a stick (highly unlikely). DW said when she picked F up at school, the teacher and assistant said he’d had a good day and they are not shy about telling us when he has bad ones (there have been many of those). So again, unsure if this happened, if this is how it happened, etc. That said, we have enough of a weird gut feeling that we’re done.

We kept him home today and I’m going to call and let the director know we are pulling him. I feel really weird about bringing up stuff that could be damaging to the assistant teacher when we don’t truly know that it actually happened. F talks about “bad guys” and “villains” and hitting a lot, and he does embellish events. I plan to say just that, “We’ve heard a few stories from F, and have no way of knowing what really happened, but I wanted to let you know.” He told us these things out of the blue with no prompting/leading from us, so that makes it feel like there must be something going on, even if it’s him just not having a good feeling about the assistant/school.

And now having written it all out, I feel stupid for not discussing each of these with the teachers when they happened. It’s all so awkward. Really looking forward to him attending the new outdoor school next year, where DW and I have had great rapport with the women who run it and are excited by their philosophy. In the meantime, let’s all hope DW doesn’t lose her mind with no more preschool break until August.

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3 Comments

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3 responses to “preschool update

  1. MamaSoto

    Your gut feeling is enough. I, too, have had some concerns with Olivia’s school. Its been very difficult to talk about these things with her teachers and I haven’t always done it. I commend you for making this decision and trusting your intuition. Ultimately, your son comes first.

  2. We have had the same bad feelings about the introductory public pre-k program that Boo attends two times a week (in addition to the Expressionism private preschool that LM attended as well and that we love). Something just feels “off” and we also cannot really decipher what is real. Asking questions is hard as, like you, we do not want to seem as if we are leading her or coaching but also want to know what the hell is going on. It is tough.

    I would look past everything, honestly, except the visiting teenager. Um, hell no. There is a reason that teenagers do not qualify to be preschool teachers. They are not capable of handling the needs and behaviors of small children properly. Red flags would be flying up every where over that and having worked in a preschool previously I am surprised that it is not a violation of some sorts. Or at least a health code issue. I would absolutely say something about that. I hope MM enjoys his early summer break and that the open air preschool is just the ticket to get him back to enjoying his peer group.

  3. Oh dear. I’m totally with you –whether or not some of these scenarios have been made up or embellished, it sounds like something is off. At the very least, F doesn’t seem to feel totally safe there and since you’re able to have him home that seems like the best option. Perhaps there are some drop-off programs that would buy L some sanity-saving time?

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