single parenting and death

How’s that for a headline? Don’t worry – DW and I are just fine 🙂 Her grandpa died on Thursday and she had to fly to LA to be with her mom with no notice, so I’m on my own with the boys from last night (Friday) through Tues. when my mom will arrive to help me out (she has my brother’s kids for the long weekend). DW returns Tuesday PM.

Grandpa was 99 years old – his 100th was coming up this week. He was a great guy and an amazing grandfather, so of course we are sad at his passing. That said, his quality of life has been bad for several years, so it’s also a positive.

We decided to tell Monkey about it since he visited Grandpa many times and we thought since they weren’t super close, it might be a good way to start talking more about death and dying. He took it well initially and had lots of questions. Later than night, he expressed concern about my dad (“Papa is old, is he going to die?” “We only have one Grandpa left.”) and his uncle (Muncle John) and he cried and said he was sad about Grandpa.

We dropped DW off at the airport last night and came home and started getting ready for bed. My plan was to get the MM down first in his bed, then Monkey in our bed, and move the MM to our bed when I went to bed. I got Monkey involved in a Wii game and told him not to come upstairs so that I could get brother to sleep. It took FOREVER, but I finally managed it. Then I got Monkey ready for bed and we talked some more about Grandpa, but there were no tears. Took from 6:45-8:15, but both boys were offically out and I was on Mama time. It was very exciting: iPad and HGTV!

I went up around 10 and got myself ready, moved the bedrails from the MMs room to our room, moved the baby gate from the MMs room to our room, woke Monkey to go potty, then transferred the MM. I slept in the middle and it was, shall we say, very cozy, even though we have a California king size bed. All was well until the MM woke up yelling at 2:30AM (“I DON’T WANT THIS BED! I WANT THE OTHER BED!”). Monkey woke up, I told him to lay down and I walked around with the MM to get him back to sleep. He did, but the minute I tried to lay down with him, the screaming began again. I decided to try to get him down in his room and then transfer him.

Got him down fairly quickly, but when I tried to get up, he woke up and cried. I brought Monkey into the room and had him get in the (full size) bed. Realized Monkey was crying. I asked him what was wrong and he told me he’s sad about Grandpa 😦 I sat down next to him and comforted him while rocking with the MM. Got him calmed down and got back in bed, this time with the MM in the middle. Then both boys got the giggles. For like 40 minutes. I thought I was going to lose my mind, y’all. They finally dropped at 4:30AM. I had to move the baby gate from our room to the boys room and then collapsed on the 3 inches of mattress I had.

Boys woke up just before 7. Sigh. We moved to the big bed (along with the baby gate) and they played on the iPad while I snoozed for half an hour. Came downstairs, fed cats, fed kids, got ready to shower in our small bathroom downstairs with stern warnings of no fighting. Just as I was stepping into the shower, Monkey runs in and says the MM wants to get in. Sigh. Get him stripped down and in the shower. After the fastest shower on record, I get us dried and dressed. Finished getting ready and headed to the mall to hit STAR.BUCKS!!!!, the play area, the Disn.ey St.ore, Leg.o Store, and Sto.p. They did pretty well considering the sleepless night. We have had lunch and they are now watching a movie and eating popcorn, which is how I have the time to write this novel.

Planning to order pizza for dinner, and hit the local kids museum in the morning and maybe see The Goo.d Dino.saur in the afternoon at the $2 theater. Monkey is supposed to be back to school Monday (year-round calendar here and he’s been out for three weeks), but there is a good chance of ice and snow, so I may have both of them stuck inside. Pray for me. I got lucky with work: they give you up to 5 bereavement days that don’t count against your PTO, so I’m taking Monday and Tuesday, and will work from home Wednesday and Thursday while my Mom is here.

Other random updates:

  • Monkey is having his tonsils and adenoids removed on April 20.
  • We found out yesterday that he got into the local magnet school we applied for.
  • My mom will be here for her birthday (2/16).
  • DW’s birthday is 2/22 and I have no idea what to get her. She just buys what she wants during the year. I told her to go on a shopping spree while she’s in California, but she probably won’t. What should I do?????

I’ll try to update again tomorrow with more wackiness. I figure this will be a good post to read when I’m reminiscing about my perfect babies in the future. LOL.

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Filed under grief, sleep, travel, Uncategorized

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