OMG, I am so freaking stressed out. I need a weekend away, to do nothing but read trashy magazines next to the beach or in a bubble bath, eat delicious meals without a child screaming or wanting to sit in my lap, and S-L-E-E-P. Yeah, like that will be happening anytime soon. Onto the bullets o’ havoc!
- Seattle job: I had my first interview a week ago Friday. It went well and I’m scheduled for the 2nd phone interview tomorrow afternoon. If that goes well, they’ll want me to fly up for a day of interviews. So, I’ll have to leave my breastfeeding baby overnight for the first time. Then have a completely stressful day of interviews while worrying about what’s happening at home with the baby. Then, if I get offered the job, we have to decide whether or not we want to do it. If we do it, we have the pleasure of moving to another state with 2 small kids and 3 cats. Right before the holiday season. Fun, right?
- Current job: Super stressful. I don’t want to do anything, but I’m overtasked all of a sudden with things that I don’t know how to do. I get vague info, have no one to bounce ideas off of, etc. Hate it. I never wanted this position, but when my old manager left, my new manager offered it to me and acted like I’d be an idiot not to accept. So, I accepted, knowing I didn’t want it and would hate it (involves sales, for God’s sake – that is not me).
- Homelife: We have officially outgrown our place. The kids need a yard to run around in. I need a decent workspace. THIS PLACE IS NOT CUTTING IT! Monkey is constantly (and I do mean CONSTANTLY) hitting, kicking, pushing the MM. He (Monkey) is obviously pissed off in general lately, but I don’t know how to improve it. It makes me sad for both boys and I worry that they won’t be close as they get older. I know that fighting will be part of a sibling relationship, but this is ridiculous.
- MiL: This list is so long and ever growing that I simply can’t write it all down. Just suffice it to say that it sucks to be her and to be us where she is concerned.
So, that’s my current shitty situation. My head and stomach hurt every day due to stress and lack of sleep (baby nursing and stress-related insomnia). I’m really trying to reframe – my family is healthy, I make a good salary, we are not in debt, we live in a beautiful area, we have the 2 kids we longed for, grateful for the possibility of a new job – but it’s really really hard these days.
two girls' path to parenthood 
I know allllllll about that! I wanna say it gets better, but my mom convinced me that it only gets better after your kids are grown, outta the house and you retire! LOL!!! Thanks a lot mom! Best of luck on all the interviews…and take some time for you, even if it’s 15 minutes to sneak off into your car and listen to your 2 favorite songs, shut your eyes for a second, and take a breath!
That is a hell of a lot going on. You need a serious, and well earned, breather….from life. I am still pulling for SC for you and your family, so I wont offer advice on Seattle. But, I can totally relate to outgrowing your home. We were there when LM was around 2 years old. I cannot even imagine doing it with two kids on top of each other. Is it possible that Monkey is reacting to a loss of personal space now that MM is walking and mobile?
I hope good things come your way soon. Hang in there, Mama!
In terms of employment, I think it is so important to be happy. (I am a non-profit girl though so I have a skewed (aka poor) perspective) Happy with the job, the environment, the co-workers, everything helps to balance out the other realms of our worlds. What will make you the most happy, for now at least?
You do have a ton on your plate–exactly how I was feeling in July. If you get a day trip to Seattle, any chance you can take an evening to yourself to sort through everything and take a bubble bath? It’s the little things! Hugs mama. As far as Monkey….four sucks. In my opinion, it sucks far more than 2 or 3. They are growing and testing limits, aggressive, expanding (yet still limited) verbal abilities and just assholes sometimes. One moment Chunk will hug & kiss me and the next, I am being screamed at or having something thrown at me. Yeah, assholes.