the merry-go-round

In my last post, I mentioned that we are actively looking to relocate. When we were at the beach with my family, we told everyone that we wanted to move South and they all went absolutely crazy with excitement. Since then (actually, since before then), I’ve sent out a ton of resumes and I’ve gotten – zero responses. Maybe it’s the California address making it tough? I’ve also done some serious networking with everyone I know professionally and personally who lives in the South. Everyone is enthusiastic and helpful, but still – nothing in the way of an interview. DW and I started making plans to go stay at my parents’ place in SC for a month and use her address – see if I got any leads.

Right about that time, I got contacted by the big company in Seattle that I interviewed with last year around this time. They are restructuring and have a new position that I might be interested in. I have been waiting to see what shakes out and finally have a phone interview this Friday (while we are in San Francisco for a conference, I might add). I interviewed with the guy who is hiring for this new position last time and we really hit it off, so I’m thinking there’s a decent chance I’ll get an offer at the end of this. Then again, I thought the same thing last time and I didn’t get it.

Funny thing, this time around we’re not that into it. After looking at real estate in the South, we were getting excited about the prospect of getting the home of our dreams for very little money. We’d be close to a lot of family who could actually help us out on occasion with the kids. The kids could grow up with their cousins. MiL could afford to buy herself a nice place for little money. We’d live large, and we could take a step back from hectic city life.

In Seattle, the housing prices are better than LA, but it’s still pretty expensive. I’d have a commute. We don’t know anyone in Seattle. The only real pluses are the job itself (which sounds great and is with a great company) and the fact that our marriage would be recognized and we’d likely experience little homophobia like here in LA. To be fair, I don’t know how our day-to-day experiences in the South would be, but I know politically it is not a great fit with our type of family.

I’m still kind of excited about the possibility – I mean, I’ve never heard anything but praise for Seattle itself. DW, however, is pretty much set on the South. It is a good way to extricate ourselves from having MiL so dependent on us.  That said, I have no way of knowing if a job opportunity will arise. Nothing has happened yet. So the plan is for me to go through the process and see what shakes out and then make a decision. What I’d like to do is look at Seattle as a stopping point in our master plan. Think of it as a place we’ll be for a few years, get some good experience under my belt, travel around that part of the country and then move on to the South if we’re still wanting to do that. Problem with that idea? MiL.

We are both so frustrated with feeling like we can’t do what we want to do for our family because we have her needs to consider. Poor planning on my inlaws’ part and the unexpected, untimely death of my FiL lead us here. It wouldn’t be so bad if she was super sweet, helpful, kind, etc., which she actually was when I first met her. These days, she is obnoxious, domineering and selfish. I don’t think there’s an answer here – just venting, I guess.

So here’s where we are currently. I don’t know whether to ask for good vibes for my interview or not. A part of me doesn’t even want to go through the (grueling) process only to have DW (and possibly myself) nix it should I land the job. Argh.

ION, Monkey started t-ball over the weekend! OMG you guys – the cuteness is almost too much to bear. I don’t know if it’s being a little older or if he’s found his Thing, but Monkey is doing great with it so far. He is staying pretty focused, listening to his coach and has a good arm. I thought DW was going to fall over when she saw him in his uniform. This is the type of thing she lives for (she played softball for years as a kid – lesbian hahahahahaha). Anyway, it was awesome and we are so looking forward to the season.


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4 responses to “the merry-go-round

  1. Ok, how about I send good vibes that whatever is meant to be, will be and with a smooth transition? That work? 🙂

    That said, I 100% get where you are coming from. We are asked all the time how we can live in the area we live in where there are “no legal recognition” of our family. There are perks though. We are essentially the token gays around here. Almost to the point of being comical. I am quite confident that Little Monster was admitted to the elite private school he attends partly due to us diversifying up the place. No joke. We rarely, if ever, encounter outward homophobia. Yes, I am sure it is there. It IS Appalachia. But, much like the south, people tend to keep to themselves about their ignorance. It is not a walk in the park, I will give it that. But a great job security (for wifey), having family near, the small town mentality, a deep sense of community, blah blah, outweighs the minor negatives. And, oh my goodness, yes, the real estate market is sooooo different than biggie cities. Our house is by no means luxurious but it is a nice rancher, 3 bedroom, 2 and half bath, full finished basement, attached garage, etc. that sits on almost an acre of property in a fairly upper middle class suburbian neighborhood and when I see house costs in other parts of the country and know how much we paid for the same here, it completely blows my mind. We had a friend visiting from Sacramento last year, BEFORE we even added the pool or began the big renovations that we have been doing as of late, not to mention what we plan for the future, and she said that our house/property would EASILY go on the market for $700K in California. Yea, we paid no where near that. Not even close. You are completely right that you can get your “Dream home” plus out from underneath MIL’s thumb for a fraction of what you would pay other places. (BTW, I am trying to recall past posts about MIL and can only bring one to memory, where DW was helping her pack up her home, have you given other details in the past? She sounds like a gem.)

    As an adult who was moved around more than once while growing up and found myself as the “new kid” on more than one occasion, I can say, it is not the funnest thing. If me, I would make that BIG MOVE before Monkey got much more older. Especially, if you all are planning on step stoning your way to the south. If the south is where you feel right, then I say go for the south and make it work 🙂

    As for tball…ummmm, I played softball as well while growing, yea hahaha lesbian, and seeing Little Monster in his tball uniform for the first time this summer just about killed me over. The fact that I got to coach him, legit sent me over the edge into ooey gooey oh my gosh that is MY KID territory. I fought back tears a few times. So happy to hear little guy has found something that suits him. Well done, Monkey!!!!

    PS-Sorry for the novel response, I guess you hit a common cord with this post, LOL, but hey, what is up with no Marshmallow info?!?!?!?

  2. I think you should hold out for the south. Maybe going there for a month is a good idea. I know it’s hard to say no to a possibly great job, but jobs are jobs and family is family. As in, jobs come and go but family is forever. Or as long as we all live, which us finite. And two big moves with two kids is going to suck. For them – esp Monkey, and for you too.
    We are in a weird similar but different situation – potentially moving away from family because we can’t afford Chicago anymore in my income only and DW stands an almost zero chance of getting a job in her new career here. It sucks.
    Good luck! I hope it works out so you can be near family AND have a good job!

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