perfectly imperfect

We went to water the plants at Monkey’s school on Monday with another mom and her daughter. We planned to bring along bubbles, thinking the kids would like to do that, and I thought the baby would like it, too. I had a whole image of how this scene would play out – and then I thought about the reality.

Imaginary scene

Baby F and I would sit in the shade on our picnic blanket. Monkey and his playmate would skip happily around us chasing the delicate bubbles that I would blow in the breeze. The baby would coo and wiggle in delight. Butterflies would lazily dance in the air as birds chirped up in the trees. A fat squirrel or two would play in a nearby tree.

Reality

There is no shady spot and it’s hot as hell already, so I’d keep the baby in his stroller with his shade pulled. The kids would rush me to take control of blowing the bubbles, a shoving match would ensue, and the bubble formula would end up spilled all over the ground. The baby would be fussy. Not a butterfly in sight, but a few flies annoying buzz around our heads. A bird poops on my freshly washed hair.

Am I right or am I right, Mamas? Okay, maybe I exaggerated the “reality” a bit, but just a bit. In real life, what happened was that Monkey was going nuts so Mommy took him ahead to school while I nursed the baby and pumped some milk from my overly full breasts. The baby and I then went to school where bubbles had already happened. I don’t know about you, but I have these imaginary scenes all the time that in reality play very VERY differently most of the time. Such is life with young kids and once it’s over, it’s kind of comical.

Now for a bit of status:

  • Potty training: Is going really well! Monkey has been out of diapers completely for over a week and has had very few daytime accidents (none in the last 3 days). Overnights are tougher, and we’re starting to wonder if we need to use diapers for nighttime as he pees the bed pretty much every night (sometimes twice). He has managed to stay dry 2 nights. Any advice? I do worry that introducing diapers at all is a bad idea as he is a stubborn boy. If he knows they are here, there is a good chance he’ll revert.
  • Aggressive behavior: Continues. Monkey loves his baby brother and oftentimes is very gentle and sweet with him. That said, he also can’t stand when the baby cries. We have to race to get to him before Monkey does or M will hit him. Hard. I’ve been trying to be empathetic (“It’s hard to have to share with baby, isn’t it?” “Baby cries can be really annoying, right? But when it happens, just go into another room. If you have to hit, hit your Superman punching bag.”), but it’s not really working. I’m hoping that school will help as it will be a place all his own where he can really get his yah-yahs out.
  • Soccer: Has fallen apart. He loses interest quickly and just wants to go play on the nearby playground. Today we left before the session was over as he told us he’d rather go home than keep playing. Sigh. Time will tell if it’s a maturity issue or a matter of finding That Thing he loves to do.
  • Baby: Continues to be a model infant. Sleeping great, very little fussing, tons of smiles and coos and sweetness. Love that boy!
  • Work: Begins again on August 19. I’ll be working from home, so not a big deal. We have someone coming once a week for half a day to watch the baby while Mommy works at Monkey’s co-op and Mama works in the next room. This means…
  • Date nights: CAN START HAPPENING!!!!! We plan to see how we like the sitter (recommended by a co-op family who loves her) and if it’s a fit, we’ll start booking her once a month to get out the house! WOOHOO! SO excited at this possibility!!!!
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9 Comments

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9 responses to “perfectly imperfect

  1. Yep, “in theory” is almost always better than reality.
    We use pull-ups at night (specifically “nighttime pullups”). Many/most children aren’t able to be night trained until later and you can’t really make them do it sooner (unless you wake them up to take them potty in the middle of night…not worth it for us). We’ve tried rewards and he really wants them, but he just sleeps so deeply at night he can’t stay dry/wake up to go. Personally I wet the bed until I was 6 so I know how it goes and it sucks. Best to just find a method to get through it, and thank goodness for pull-ups.
    Whoo hoo on the date nights!

  2. Hello, I recently came across your blog and have started following, and wanted to let you know that I nominated you for the Super Sweet Blogging Award! Take care, Georgia from Mckinley Milestones http://mckinleymilestones.com/2013/07/24/another-blogger-nomination/

  3. Re: Night time wetting

    We use pull ups at night, but call them “sleepy diapers” – only worn for sleep πŸ™‚

  4. I hope you like the sitter! Date night sounds fun and it is so important to do things that are just fun and not for any other reason. πŸ™‚

  5. Nighttime pull-ups here too. Although lately he is only actually wet 1 or 2 mornings a week. We talked to our pedi and she said that most children, boys especially, are not able to be night trained until age 5 or 6. Their little bladders just do not have that much control when in REM sleep. We call them Night Night Pants and do not even mention the word diaper. Good luck!

  6. Yay for date nights!!!!!!
    I hear you on the dream vs reality of parenting! I had a couple fantasies about kids and they have come partly true – beach play ( add hyper vigilance!!) etc. but often the reality is way nor stressful!!
    Good to know about night time potty training from your commenters!!!

  7. chunkandmommy

    I agree with the group…chunk uses pull-ups every night. He knows after his bath, to go pick out a pair of pjs, grab a pull-up and get dressed. A lot of the mornings he wakes up dry, but it makes it much easier if he pees…gladly, I have never had to change the sheets due to an “accident.” And once he wakes up, he takes them off to put on underwear and it really isn’t a big deal anymore, just part of his routine. Yay to date nights! That is a big advantage of co-parenting with the ex. πŸ™‚

  8. LOL. I have those “perfect moment” moments too, though I’ve been trying hard to enjoy the wonder of following the little one’s lead, even if it means ditching the plan.

    Kushies makes a reusable training pant that is like a very padded brief-style underwear. Maybe that’d be a good compromise between diaper and underwear?

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