family vacation & more on ttc #2

Sorry I’ve been gone for so long. We took a trip last week to Edisto Island, South Carolina. My family lives in SC and we’ve done yearly trips to Edisto for a long LONG time. The trip had its ups and downs, but I think Monkey thoroughly enjoyed himself this year. He and his cousins (who are 6 and 8) had a BLAST playing together. It was so sweet to see how much they loved being together. It was also pretty great not to have to entertain Monkey much at all – J and B took care of that and had fun doing it.

Our plane ride(s) to SC were pretty uneventful, so that was nice. Monkey had a meltdown at the airport in Chicago (where we had a short layover), but was really good on the plane. He did not take a nap, which we thought would be a disaster, but it wasn’t. He liked being on the plane and exploring the airport. Still, it’s a long day for a 2.5 year old (hell, it’s a long day for Mama and Mommy, too).

Weirdly, we didn’t spend too much time on the beach this year. We all got sick about mid-way through the trip, so I’m sure that played into it. Monkey would go on the beach and play for about half an hour to an hour and then start heading back to the beach house (“Home. Home. Home.”). To be fair, it was crazy hot and that combined with his cold surely couldn’t have made being on the beach very pleasant. The bad thing about that is that there is really not much else to do on the island, so we did a lot of just hanging around the house.

Some highlights of the trip for Monkey (besides hanging out with his cousins) included riding on the golfcart that my dad rented for the week (big hit with all the kids), participating in the kids’ Fourth of July parade, and being in the water at the beach. My mom brought a life jacket for him so he was able to get out in the water pretty far out with us. He loved it. We also visited the Serpenterium (ew) and Botany Bay, and Mamas even got to go out to eat just the two of us twice. Pretty nice!

Our plane trip home was also pretty uneventful. So grateful. Monkey slept for about 2 hours and then woke up and was kind of cranky because it was late and he was tired. But he recovered pretty quickly and seemed to like the hustle and bustle of air travel.

We got home late Saturday night and had Sunday to sleep and recouperate. I will do a protected picture post soon, so if you need my password, leave me a comment.


When I was sick last week, I was having major doubts about having a second child. I was just imagining doing a trip like this with two little babies and being sick and it just felt totally overwhelming. Then I started thinking about how old I’d be when the second child turned 18 (60, for the record) and wondering if we should really be doing this. Now that I’m feeling better, I’m less negative about it, but I still have reservations. I haven’t mentioned it to DW because I want to see how I’m feeling as we approach our upcoming FET (when my period starts in ~2 weeks), but I wonder how many of you moms out there had these same doubts about expanding your family and how you knew it was the right decision for you.

Lately I have been thinking it might be best to just focus on Monkey and have a nice comfortable life. I can’t quite decide if I’m picking the easy way out and will regret not having that second child, or if I’m being rational and reasonable about what we can handle. Sigh. So, pretty much the same old struggle over here.


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9 responses to “family vacation & more on ttc #2

  1. the edisto trip sounds lovely, minus the sick and the serpenterium 😉

    no advice on the ttc#2 debate. i guess we just went for it because we felt we wouldn’t regret having a kid (that we knew and loved), but we might regret NOT having a kid if we based the decision on money or house size or whatever. i dunno, we just jump blindly i suppose! 😉

    • Yeah, I am definitely an over-thinker. Today DW told me she has a person set up to watch Monkey when we do our FET, so I guess she’s feeling good about it. We’ll most likely go for it. As I feel better each day, I feel more optimistic so it should be all good by the end of the month 🙂

  2. We’re struggling with the decision for #2 as well and while I agree with S, I also kind of disagree. If its house/money that is the issue holding you back than I agree withthe idea you might regret it. For us, we’re very happy with one child. I feel like we function well with just one and I’m really, seriously, not jealous of my mommy friends with more than one. In fact I usually walk out of their houses relieved I’m leaving the chaos behind. So our reasons are: 1) Regret, 2) Heir and a Spare (something haunting) 3) Sibling for Sadie. Ultimately given how we really feel, all three are shitty reasons. Number 3 is the only one we’re stuck on.

  3. We, too, are happy with just one. And sure, there are moments when I think about what “could be”, but I know for US, the stress of it all would make it nearly unbearable. I’m in awe of people who can handle more than one! lol

  4. i’m back, wanted to respond more thoughtfully to your post and to the comment above. mamaoak’s reason #3 is the real reason why we have more than one kid. R and i both had siblings close in age while growing up and are now close to our siblings as adults. we wanted that for bird. family gatherings are now huge events with the original kids, their spouses, grandkids, etc. we wanted that for ourselves when we are grandparents.

    also, our kids have a unique experience within our extended families, as the children of same-sex parents and as donor-conceived children. we felt it was important for them to have siblings who shared that experience and could relate.

    as mamaoak’s feeling of being relieved when leaving the homes of parents with more than one kid, i think the same holds true of visits between childless couples and couples with one child. i know we feel the same way when we visit with other parents with kids, we are ready to get back to “just” our three. yes, our lives are ruckus. but it’s *our* ruckus and we are accustomed to it. :~)

  5. We knew from the begining that we wanted more than 1, 2, or maybe 3 kids. Going on boy #4, it just feels right. As our boys grow up, I couldn’t imagine them without eachother. Having a sibling connection is a bond that only they share between eachother.

    Our lives maybe a little more hectic with more kiddies, but it is so worth it. Either way you decide to go, you know we’ve got your back.

  6. We are in the same boat right now and we have decided to hold off until the end of the year. Just to give me some additional tme to wrap my head and heart around it all. My biggest thing is also the sibling. I want our LO to have someone she can relate to and know exactly the same things she goes through coming form a same sex house hold. Someone to relate to and soemone to have as she gets older. Plus neices and nephews are just awesome. I also want to be sure I am ready mentally for it before we jump in. I am giving us a few months to better prepare and after the miscarrages I really think we need it. Best of luck.

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