Sorry for being so MIA. DW was sick as a dog for like 2 weeks, I had a bit of depression around the BFN, and now we are at the beach with my MiL for a week (I’m working while we’re here). Things are fine, but I just can’t wait to go home. We knew this wasn’t going to be the most fun ever kind of vacation because we have difficulties with MiL, so spending a week with her wasn’t going to be easy. But I’m about to go rabid dog on her because she keeps trying to discipline Monkey even when both of his parents are here doing so. And she does things I really REALLY don’t like or agree with. It’s driving me kind of insane. I can’t decide whether I need to just let it go (which is what I’ve been doing) or if this is a test of my mothering and I need to step up and tell her to cut it out.
The two things that are really just not on and have my hackles up are:
- She YELLS out, “NO!” when he does something she doesn’t like/he shouldn’t be doing. Now we of course tell him no, but we do not scream or yell at him unless he is in physical danger if he doesn’t stop whatever it is he’s doing (and I can count on one hand the number of times that’s happened in his 2.5 years of life). Instead we try to gently explain why he shouldn’t do what he’s doing and redirect. Usually works, no need for the yelling.
- Last night he was pulling my hair and DW and I were telling him to stop, that it hurts mama, be gentle, etc. This has become a fun game for him and it is really annoying, but you know, he’s 2. We will continue to do as we have and one day he’ll be old enough to understand. What did MiL do? When it was all over she looked at him and said, “I’m disappointed in you.” OMG I wanted to slap her. If you want to say you’re unhappy with a behavior, okay, but don’t tell my child you’re disappointed in him. That shit is mean and if I don’t do it, I sure as hell don’t want anyone else doing it. He studiously avoided her for about an hour and she made some comment about having “shamed him.” Pissed. Me. Off. I really don’t think I can let something like this slide again. I am just so furious about it.
I know that part of this is that I don’t feel she has earned the right to do any sort of disciplining. She has had one health crisis after another since before he was born so she has never helped us with him beyond coming over to play with him while one of us is home. Not to mention when both of his parents are right there, there is simply no need for anyone else to voice their opinion in the matter.
We are also cooped up in a small, not at all toddler friendly home in a totally non-toddler friendly environment (there is no yard to play in, the beach across the street is down a steep staircase and there is a sheer drop from the road to the beach with no fencing or anything for the entire length of the street), so I feel like the deck is stacked against my poor baby. DW is being great and driving him to a park or an activity every morning and every afternoon, so at least there’s that. But when he’s here, it’s constant redirecting and her shouting NO and ugh, ugh, UGH!
We leave Saturday. It can’t come soon enough.