#2?

So lately we been seriously leaning toward having a second baby. I think if I had my way, I’d wait another year, but I’m not getting any younger and I’m feeling like I want to do it. I’m going to make an appointment with our RE to have an initial discussion. EEP! Edited to add: Meeting with Dr. Q next Wednesday at 10:30A.M. OMGOMGOMG!

I’m hoping to get some feedback from those of you with more than one child under the age of 3 or 4 to weigh in on a few things that I’m wondering about:

  • We co-sleep and I’d like to continue that. I’m thinking initially we’d sidecar the co-sleeper for the newbie and keep Monkey between us.  But what happens when the baby is too big for the co-sleeper but still too small to expose to Monkey’s wild sleep antics? Bed against a wall with Monkey between DW and the wall and baby2 between me and DW?
  • How do you handle naps when you’ve got 1 napping mid-day and the other napping twice a day (one mid-morning and one mid-afternoon)? Are you stuck at home all day every day? Monkey would go nuts! He has to get out at least once a day, but I’m wondering how you do that with the whole nap thing.
  • I’ve told DW she will need to become a pro-babywearer as that seems to be the best way to handle having a newborn and a toddler. It’s what I see all the moms in this situation doing.
  • How will I ever wean Monkey if I start nursing a newbie?

If we end up going for it, I’m figuring we have about a year before there is a newborn to worry about. We are also thinking about signing Monkey up for pre-school starting next fall (we’d initially thought we’d wait another year). That would help. Of course, I still don’t even have my period back, so who knows…

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15 Comments

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15 responses to “#2?

  1. Jdz

    Congrats on making a first step. I’m interested in seeing the advice given for
    co-sleeping.
    For napping, had you tried the sleepy wrap with Monkey? I can’t even put into words how much I loved that thing. S slept everywhere in it.

    • glamcookie

      Yes! The Sleepy Wrap was great. I wore him in it many times for naps when he was a newborn. And we saved it, so it’ll get used again should this #2 being come into the world.

  2. I only have one under three. I spaced my kids well apart because two toddlers at a time felt overwhelming to me. But. Lots of my friends have had two closer together than mine.

    Nursing sometimes goes away naturally because the taste of the milk changes during pregnancy. Also, it sometimes goes away almost completely, or nursing becomes so uncomfortable that it’s easy to seque. BUT a friend of mine tandum-nursed, and she was really glad that she did. The new baby had special needs and couldn’t nurse effectively enough to get a let-down. Big sister did it for him. Truly beautiful.

    Friends have co-slept with two, but they did find it more difficult and most transitioned the older child to their own mattress on the floor. A toddler in the bed increases risk of SIDS.

    I second, third, fourth baby-wearing. It’s the only way I have survived my current child. Spring for the good carriers, not the kind they sell at Target.

    Second/third babies often adapt to an older sibling’s schedule. By necessity. Sorry to hijack your comments!

  3. Jac

    Wahoo!!! Congrats on the decision! Sorry I have no feedback for you since I’m not in that position, but I wish you both (and your son) the best to come!

  4. RDR

    Bring on baby #2! So happy for you. We are learning our way with our second addition/third chid. Look forward to hearing about RE visit.

  5. CJ

    Ok, I don’t have two under that age NOW, but I did have two that were thirteen months apart for nearly three years. And now I nanny for a little boy who is three months older than Cheeks, so I have the two of them all day, every day. Does that qualify me as knowledgeable on this topic? I hope so!

    We’re starting to THINK about number two, so we’ve tackled these topics too!

    Cheeks just turned a year old. We have moved her onto her own mattress, on the floor, next to our mattress. She stays there the majority of the night on most nights. She comes and goes into our bed as she wants. When/if we have another, we will use the cradle on the opposite side of the bed with Cheeks (we just haven’t figured out how our bed can be tall enough to be flush with the cradle, yet still on the floor to be flush with Cheeks’ mattress! We’re still in the thinking stage!) When the baby moves into our bed, he/she will move between us in a co-sleeper and then migrate directly into our bed. Cheeks will remain on her mattress until she decides she wants to sleep in her own room. She will be free to come and go, but will be restricted from being directly next to the baby.

    You said: How do you handle naps when you’ve got 1 napping mid-day and the other napping twice a day (one mid-morning and one mid-afternoon)?

    We are babywearers. Cheeks still sleeps in my lap. If I had another one, I’d simply put him/her on my lap when he/she sleeps at the same time and then put him/her in a carrier to sleep while Cheeks is up and running around. If you want my opinion on wraps, slings, etc. let me know! I’ve tried a LOT of them out!

    You asked: Are you stuck at home all day every day?

    No. I do have to move their naps around when I want to go out and do things, but thankfully they both are very easy babies and don’t sleep on a minute schedule. They both take morning naps, but it could be at 9 or 10. Or even pushed to 11 if I need be. They’re both very flexible. And new babies sleep anywhere, any time!

    You said: How will I ever wean Monkey if I start nursing a newbie?

    Why do you need to?!?! I firmly believe babies will wean when they’re ready. I would start him on a “don’t ask, don’t deny” schedule. ONLY nurse when he asks, but never offer it. Never deny him when he asks. Tandem nursing can rock! Although Ash will (hopefully) be carrying the next one, I would like to nurse the next one. Hopefully that will happen before Cheeks decides to wean herself!

    Sorry for my novel!

    • glamcookie

      In re: weaning – everything I’m seeing says that you can’t do do an FET while breastfeeding 😦 We’ll see what the RE has to say about it. He’s pretty aggressive, so I’m thinking he’ll say to wean. And then we’ll have to make a decision…

  6. Yay yay yay!

    1) Have you thought about moving your mattress to the floor and getting a larger one (like a California King)? This way, everyone has more space, and any roll-offs are pretty unremarkable.

    2) I ask myself this all the time! L napped in my arms/on my chest for 7 months, so I’m all about the babywearing? Also, sadly, I think younger children get shafted in the schedule department and tend to get moved to the older kid’s naptime sooner just to make things easier for everyone. (Not advocating, just noticing.)

    3) YES!

    4) And this is just a question: If you are going to do IVF or an FET, can you safely nurse while taking all the hormones? It may be fine, I’m just curious. Assuming it’s safe, unless you want to (discomfort, need to have at least some of your body be your own, desire for a little independence for Monkey, etc.) there isn’t really a need to wean him, right?

    So excited for you!

    • glamcookie

      We have been thinking about getting a King size bed, but I don’t think I want it on the floor. Were thinking about a platform style bed so that it is low to the ground but not on the floor. We’ll see.

      Your question about FET meds and nursing is one I have on the list for the RE. I’m also curious about what he says.

  7. No advice bit that is very exciting news. Congrats on deciding!

  8. eeee!! im so excited! maybe if i get off my butt and make an appointment (and wean Bird, and get my period …) we could be cycle buddies again! :~)

    1. no advice on co-sleeping, we booted Bird at 10.5 months. weren’t you looking into a king-sized bed at one point?

    2. our little ones’ morning nap is brief, maybe from 930-10. then they all nap for a longer stretch together in the afternoon. a morning preschool program might be a nice solution, to give him an “out” each day, while you stay in with the little ones. oops, i mean, *one* ;o)

    3. yup. we lived by our ergos the first few months around the house. even still, we use them all the time when we go out.

    4. i’ll be interested to hear what your doc says about ttc while nursing (im assuming you are thinking of doing a FET?) i’ve done a lot of reading about it and the consensus seems to be no FET while breastfeeding due to the steroids/antibiotics/etc, hence my early efforts to get Bird weaned…

    • glamcookie

      Oh that would be awesome if we were trying at the same time! Cycle buddies! I’m also seeing everywhere that you can’t nurse and do an FET. We’ll see what the RE says. I’m feeling about ready to be done anyway, so it may just be the final kick in the pants I need to act on it.

  9. I have no advice, but I am reading with great interest, as we may be heading into the same territory soon. Good luck. Can’t wait to read about your appt!

  10. No advice, just wanted to say congratulations on taking the first step to baby #2! So exciting!!

  11. You’ll figure it out as you go along. We had our children 25 months apart and both of them would end up in our bed a lot. We kept a toddler bed in our room for a while to try and get our eldest to sleep there. It worked a little. We bought a King. that is the answer for co-sleeping–bigger bed. 🙂 Good luck!

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