preschool update

We’ve decided to pull F from his current preschool. There have been a few things he’s told us in the last couple of months that make me ready to pull the trigger. Tell me what you think:

  • F threw dirt at another child while playing outside and, according to F, the teacher’s assistant told the other child to throw dirt back at him. Um, no. F volunteered this story to us, but you know, 3-year-olds aren’t always the most reliable so we felt a little weird about it, told F that was not how it should be handled, etc. and moved on.
  • F told me one day that he was put in time out by the teacher’s teenaged son. The son has been in the classroom a few times and DW and I have been kind of baffled and unsettled by it (he’s not an employee of the school, I’m certain there has been no background check). When F told me the boy picked him up and put him in time out I was like WTFF? Again, NO.
  • Yesterday F told DW that the teacher’s assistant, “Hit me in the bottom.” !!!!! But in the next breath, he said she also hit another child in the head with a stick (highly unlikely). DW said when she picked F up at school, the teacher and assistant said he’d had a good day and they are not shy about telling us when he has bad ones (there have been many of those). So again, unsure if this happened, if this is how it happened, etc. That said, we have enough of a weird gut feeling that we’re done.

We kept him home today and I’m going to call and let the director know we are pulling him. I feel really weird about bringing up stuff that could be damaging to the assistant teacher when we don’t truly know that it actually happened. F talks about “bad guys” and “villains” and hitting a lot, and he does embellish events. I plan to say just that, “We’ve heard a few stories from F, and have no way of knowing what really happened, but I wanted to let you know.” He told us these things out of the blue with no prompting/leading from us, so that makes it feel like there must be something going on, even if it’s him just not having a good feeling about the assistant/school.

And now having written it all out, I feel stupid for not discussing each of these with the teachers when they happened. It’s all so awkward. Really looking forward to him attending the new outdoor school next year, where DW and I have had great rapport with the women who run it and are excited by their philosophy. In the meantime, let’s all hope DW doesn’t lose her mind with no more preschool break until August.

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threenager woes UPDATE

The MM’s school had a local (great) resource come in to evaluate his behavior and DW met with them today to discuss. They said he is very smart and super observant. They also said that he has no behavioral issues and from their observation, there are kids in the class who like to “push his buttons,” and that the teacher has been handling that incorrectly. They spoke with her after they spoke with DW.

They also spoke about him being an introvert and gave her some suggestions on how to handle that. He is so extroverted at home it’s hard to reconcile that, but I do see it. Introverts have more issues than extroverts in terms of social aspects of school. As Monkey is RIDICULOUSLY extroverted, we have not experienced this thus far in our parenting journey.

So there’s the update: just your typical introverted threenager over here. LOL.

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threenager woes

BOOBS UPDATE: I went yesterday for my follow up, they did more scans (no ultrasound), and had a doctor take a look. They think it’s fine and want me to come in again in 6 months to take another look. I guess they are getting a baseline? Not all that reassuring, but I guess if they were worried, they’d be looking further now, right?

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Since we are in the midst of having a raging threenager, I thought I’d do a post about the MM. You may recall in previous posts that I’ve referred to him as a unicorn baby, a good sleeper, a mellow guy. And he always was…until 3.5. For the past few months, this guy has been terrorizing kids at school, hitting us, saying mean things, and just living balls out 3.

He’s been sent to the director’s office at his preschool many times, once twice in one day (DW had to go in and talk to him and director). He hits, kicks, pushes, and “sits on” other kids at school. He seemed to have it in for one particular little girl for a while, much to our horror. DW hears from his teacher almost daily about his bad behavior. We talk to him about it, work with him on being a good friend, being empathetic, acceptable ways to express anger/frustration. Still, on he goes and seems quite gleeful about it:

Me: What will you say to A tomorrow? [Kid he hurt on previous day, after we discuss apologizing, etc.]
The MM: Nofing – I will hit and kick and sit on A! [Laughs.]

He has some good days, but more bad than good. He is super clingy to Mama (me) lately and showers me with affection in the evenings. I know that some kids at 3 are biters, hitters, etc. so we’re trying to keep it in perspective and continue to discuss and model positive behaviors. Still, it’s shitty to think your kid is the classroom bully.

We have enrolled him in a new preschool for next year. It’s an all outdoor one like our beloved CA co-op and Monkey has gone to summer camp there the last couple of years and LOVED it. We’re hopeful that a new setting and more outdoor activity will help. He has told us he doesn’t like school, so maybe this will be better? Or maybe he’ll turn 4 and start growing out of this?

It didn’t help to see this article linking Mira.lax to aggressive behavior. The MM had some constipation trouble right before this behavior started and was on a low-dose of Mira.lax for a couple of months. We took him off of it when we saw the article just in case – no difference in behavior. We’re also going to discuss going to 3 days per week at his current school (he goes 5 days currently) with the director for the rest of the school year.

ION, he is also still not potty trained. He’ll be four April 29. He absolutely gets it, understands, could totally do it but – WILL NOT. Sigh.

This parenting thing? No joke, y’all. No joke. Tell me encouraging stories? Please?

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boobs

That title grab you? I know it would grab me! Being the (ahem) 40-something lady that I am, I had to go in for a mammogram last Friday (ugh). Y’all may recall that back in 2012 there was a mammo emergency as I needed to have one (was 42) but I hadn’t been done bfing for long enough. Ended up doing an ultrasound one and all was fine. Then I had the MM and there has been no mammo since as I was bfing for a lot of that time.

Fast forward to my last physical and my doctor telling me to do the thing. The tech that did the mammo said that since this is my first actual one, there is no baseline for me and not to be worried if they call me in for a follow-up. So, yesterday I found out there is some calcification in the right breast and I have to come in for an ultrasound to ensure that it is benign. I am trying to think, “No big,” but I’m a bit… unnerved. The earliest they could get me in is Mon 3/13, so yay for having 1.5 weeks to think about it, am I right!

I’m sure I’m probably fine, though we’ve had one incident of breast cancer in the family (a paternal aunt, who is now cancer free and has been for many years). But y’all know how it is – jump to the worst conclusion girl is here! So, send me some health ~ma and some it’s-nothing ~ma if you don’t mind. Much appreciated.

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Protected: a letter to my family

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i wrote a thing

Today I read a piece about Sylvia Plath (today is her birthday) and went down the rabbit hole of the Plath/Hughes relationship. Reread some of their work and felt like writing a thing, which hasn’t happened in many years.

moon land

21 to 17, they dwindle
half mysteries
in amber ooze

again the shining stick
my heart with it
and there are two

a blaze, a spark
they drop onto
the viscous sand, moon
land

again the shining stick
my heart with it
the number holds

the fragile core
is riddled through
not meant for you

again the shining stick
my heart with it
ravaged badlands

it’s shaken loose
once was aloof
now all I am

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Protected: surprise! and not the good kind…

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