kindergarten wrap-up

As we near the end of my oldest’s first year of school (sob), I thought now is a good time for an update!

You all may recall that there was some concern expressed about how Monkey would do in school as he attended a play-based, unstructured preschool (our beloved co-op in California). I am proud to report that our boy has done GREAT! He is reading, writing, excelling in math and he even won a character award this year for Respect. His teacher reported at every parent-teacher conference that she was impressed with how respectful he is, which kind of shocked me as he is an unruly wild man at home.  He is an enthusiastic learner who asks a lot of questions (“What is before 0? What is infinity?”) and shows special interest in math and science (like many other 5-6 year olds on the planet, he wants to be an astronaut).

Monkey also played baseball on a local team and has shown great improvement in his abilities. This was coach pitch, and Monkey consistently hit the ball (didn’t need to use the t) and paid a lot more attention to the game in general. The league he’s on is pretty serious and competitive and he will have to try out to make the team in the Fall. Whether he will make it is anyone’s guess, but I think he’s got a shot and that’s not something I necessarily would have said 6 months ago🙂 If he doesn’t make it, there is another local league he can join.

Monkey continues to make friends easily and is typically the kid who gets all the kids playing when he’s at the playground, ball game, etc. If running and playing is happening, he is right in the middle of it. He’s super affectionate, which sometimes gets him in trouble at school (unable to keep his hands to himself, but the teacher always says it’s not in a malicious or hurtful way).

Monkey’s last day of school is June 30 (year-round school leads to a late last day). He will be attending a local magnet school next year and we are all excited about it. It is an International Baccalaureate school, which stresses global learning. When you enter the school, there is a huge map of the world painted on the floor and a bunch of clocks set to various times across the globe. Monkey will take Spanish from first-third grade, and then has the option to continue with Spanish or take two years of Japanese. We attended a family picnic/orientation in May and Monkey absolutely loved it. He asks all the time when he starts at his new school. Another bonus? Siblings automatically get a spot, so there’ll be no lottery when the MM is ready for Kindergarten.

It has been an exciting year of growth for our boy. Still can’t believe he’s a rising first grader. Where does the time go?

 

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turn that red state purple – edited

EDITED to add <male co-worker’s> response and my response to that below.

By now, I’m sure all of you are aware of the awful discriminatory piece of garbage the NC govt. pushed through recently (HB2). The company that I work for is open and inclusive and values transparency. To that end, there are many (MANY) email lists on which all things are hashed out and then hashed out again and again and again. You get the point.

In such an environment, you can imagine the internal threads on HB2. There have been several, with the vast majority of people speaking out against the new law and promoting rallies and marches against it (#WeAreNotThis). That said, there are some who support the law and jump in with both feet to defend bigotry and discrimination. I’ve jumped into the fray on a few occasions, when the tone of an email just does not allow me to sit silently. Following is the worst of the worst from yesterday. Text in italics is from the original email.

Hi, <male co-worker I do not know>. I took a stab at going through your email point by point in as factual a manner as possible. I may have failed there on a few points as this is an issue that I am very passionate about. I hope that it helps to illuminate the issues I had with your original statement.

Person A believes that HB2 is good and it protects the rights and security of some people.
Fallacy: Transgender folks have been using the bathrooms for the gender they identify with for years and years and years. Criminal activity perpetrated in public restrooms by transgender people has been nil.

Person B believes that HB2 is bad because it is discriminatory towards some people (transgender folks)
Fallacy: HB2 is bad for many many many people. Have you actually read it? It allows discrimination against just about everyone – black people, pregnant people, people who are encountering harrassment in the workplace. The transgender part of this bill is a trojan horse – government drumming up and then preying on peoples’ fears to push through a bill with many other dangerous provisions. And look! Right before election time. Hmmmm….

Person Z is any transgender person (I am excluding the LGB part of LGBT because I honestly don’t see how this law actually applies to them, perhaps I am not familiar with this lifestyle enough be 100% accurate on this, if I am not, my apologies)
The use of “lifestyle” here is problematic as it implies being LGBT is a choice. Also, btw, my personal beliefs are that even if it were a choice, it does not affect you or me or anyone outside of that person’s sphere. I believe that everyone should be treated with respect and dignity whether they are like me or not.

Statement: Person B believes that it is discriminatory for person A to believe that HB2 is good and act upon it because it infringes on the perceived rights of Person Z
This is not a belief, it is a fact. HB2 takes away a right that transgender people had (to use the restroom that aligns with their gender identity).

If Person B holds that Person A is being discriminatory by imposing their beliefs on someone else:
Imagine replacing “transgender” with “blacks” or “women” or “Muslims.” Discriminatory, correct?

    then Person B cannot impose on Person A their beliefs because that would be discriminating against Person A’s beliefs
No one is imposing anything. Again, transgender people were already using the restrooms that align with their gender identities, without issue.

or
   Person B cannot hold that Person A is discriminatory because by holding this belief they are not holding to the same logic they are holding person A to in the first place.
I am not sure what you mean here, but see above re: beliefs.

Therefore: If person B believes that Person A cannot impose their beliefs on Person Z, then Person B cannot impose their beliefs on Person A.
See above re: beliefs.

Therefore: Person A is free to believe that HB2 is good and that it protects the security of some people
Fallacy: The Charlotte ordinance was created to protect the security of transgender folks. It is these people whose security is now jeopardized. Again, trans people have been using the restroom alongside you and me and everyone else for decades. It has not been a problem, but it will be a problem now for transgender people.

Therefore: Person B, by their own logic, can believe that HB2 is bad but CANNOT impose this belief on Person A unless they agree that it is ok for Person A to impose their beliefs on Person Z.
See above re: belief.

Remember- Person Z made a choice to change something about themselves in a biological manner. No one made them do this.
Just to illustrate a point, when did you make the choice to be straight? Did you worry about telling your family that you were straight? Did you lose sleep and contemplate suicide because you were afraid people you love (and people you don’t know) might reject you or even try to physically harm you because you are straight? Do you frequently have to defend the rights of straight people? Your statement implies that transgender people should live a lie. What for? The comfort of others (notice I said COMFORT, not SAFETY)? What about their comfort?

Person Z is expecting everyone to accommodate them for their preference based on a choice they made. Why does it make it ok for someone to require everyone around them (e.g. a whole city) to change because they made a personal decision to change?
No one has been asked to change anything except for transgender folks, who have now been placed in harms way as women who present as men are now expected to use the womens room, and men who present as women are now expected to use the mens room. Not to mention, who is going to enforce this rule? It is sheer silliness.

By this reasoning, I should be able to expect cities of people to change the way of their life to best suit my personal preferences.
Let’s get real: As a straight white male, our society was created by and for you. I’d imagine there is very little that you feel strongly should change to “best suit” your “personal preferences,” except perhaps that LGBT folks stay in the closet for your comfort. You see how wrong that is, right? Let me take it a step further. Why do LGBT people pay taxes if they are not extended the same rights as every other citizen? Do you see how that is discriminatory?

I’d also like for you to imagine a transgender <company name> employee reading their pro-HB2 co-workers thoughts (there are some, btw). How do you think they feel working for an inclusive company like <company name> but watching their co-workers support trampling on their rights and discussing their sexuality as a “choice” or “lifestyle?” It’s heartbreaking.

CO-WORKER’S RESPONSE

Hi <glamcookie>,

I used this to prove a point. If someone cannot talk about ideas without attacking a person, then there is very little reason for someone to want to listen to what you are so passionate about in the first place. I used syllogisms and statements made by people that I have heard say things concerning this matter. All I did was create the reasoning and rationale behind those statements to connect the points. It amazes me how you are personally attacking me and yet you do not know me. The reason for me posting this is because people should be able to talk about hard subjects without being attacked. Isn’t that the whole “<company name> way”? Talk about things, disagree about things, and let the best ideas prevail?

You took it upon yourself to assume many things and rather than asking questions, you blasted away. Truth be told, the reason I was wanting to talk to people about this logic is because I do not know where I personally stand. I know what I have heard but I think it is always best to talk to people who deal with these things before making my own conclusions. Though, you make it very difficult to want to listen or talk to you about this when you say sexist comments like, “Let’s get real: As a straight white male, our society was created by and for you”. That shows me an awful lot of what you think about me without you knowing the first thing about me. You have stereotyped me and placed me in a bucket in your own mind for no reason. Not only is that sexist, that is directed against my sexuality personally. According to your logic, that is the very thing you are fighting for in the first place. Interesting how you are attacking me on a personal level about the same thing you are so passionate about for yourself and other people. I think I have a good understanding of where you stand on me as a person and your scope of wanting to talk to people about this issue. Thank you for your time but I do not need any more of it.

AND ME AGAIN

I’m assuming you took offense to this passage:

“Let’s get real: As a straight white male, our society was created by and for you. I’d imagine there is very little that you feel strongly should change to “best suit” your “personal preferences,” except perhaps that LGBT folks stay in the closet for your comfort. You see how wrong that is, right? Let me take it a step further. Why do LGBT people pay taxes if they are not extended the same rights as every other citizen? Do you see how that is discriminatory?”

I’m sorry for assuming your position on LGBT folks – I was offended and insulted by your original statements and I took this stance based on that feeling. That is the only area where I can see a glimmer of a “personal attack.”

In terms of being sexist, I was merely stating a fact. This society privileges white men above all others. I have privilege as well being a white female. The conclusions that I came to were based on statements in your original post. I have also been offended initially when confronted with my own privilege. Then I learned to stop, listen to the other person’s point of view and reflect. I’ve learned a lot by taking what others from different backgrounds than mine have told me – even when they’ve told me in anger. I hope that you are able to do this as well.

I am allowed to be offended and insulted and not obligated to put that aside to make a nice statement to those that would deny me and my fellow citizens rights. Yes, I am angry. I will not calm down about an issue like human rights to make anyone else comfortable. That is not my role in the world.

I wish you well and sincerely hope that with time, my words might have an impact on your view.

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what would jesus do?

Last fall, we signed up Monkey for baseball. We were thrilled with the organization, the fields were close to home, loved our coach, and Monkey enjoyed himself immensely. Monkey’s game improved and he developed friendships with his teammates. DW took photos at every game and shared them on the team site, much to everyone’s delight. (Her photos are practically pro level at this point.) When the season ended, the team was invited to the coach’s house for a BBQ and awards celebration and it was great. DW asked at some point toward the end of the season if the team would be together for the next season and the coach said he couldn’t guarantee it, but he hoped so.

Fast forward to spring ball. We signed Monkey up and discovered he had a different coach. DW took Monkey to his first practice and noticed that all the kids already knew each other – it was obvious they were all on the same team last season. Hmmmm…

Last Saturday was Opening Ceremony. DW sees our old coach and notices that the team is made up of EXACTLY the same players – minus one, of course. Now, we hate to go there, but the only possible thing we can figure is that they wanted the lesbian family off their team. I suppose it’s possible there was some sort of glitch in the system or something, but really, what are the odds?

Monkey has expressed sadness several times at the loss of his old teammates, though he has already found buddies on his new team (as is his way – dude is one of those “life of the party” types that kids are typically drawn to). Prior to last Saturday, we just explained to him that they switch teams up and while we’re sad we don’t have the same team, we are really happy with the new team we’re on (and we are – perfectly nice coach, kids, etc.).

Now we know there will come a time when Monkey’s current team plays his old team. Kid’s pretty sharp and I’m sure will notice it’s the same team – minus one, of course. I am so pissed off. I’d really love to say something to the coach, but this is totally one of those things where he’ll never admit it even if it’s true. You can’t prove it.

It’s just so “Christ-like” to hurt the feelings of an innocent kid because you don’t approve of his parents’ “lifestyle.” I’m really furious, even though I’m really trying to just assume the best – it was something out of the coach’s control, a glitch, something. If we end up getting passed off to yet another team next season, we’re out. I’m just sad for my boy and have to come up with something to tell him when he encounters his old team on the ballfield and wonders why he isn’t with them.

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single parenting update

Well, friends, I’m happy to report that the last two nights have gone off without a hitch. No nightime wakings and both kids have slept until almost 7 both mornings. This truly is a miracle as my oldest typically wakes ~5:30AM most of the time. Our days have been going well, too. I almost feel silly now making my mom come help, but there is that pesky work thing🙂 I took today and tomorrow off, but really should get back at it asap.

School was closed today due to snow/ice and I’m not even sweating it. We’ve decided to stay in PJs, watch movies, play games, and eat snacky things all day long. Sounds like a plan to me!

 

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single parenting and death

How’s that for a headline? Don’t worry – DW and I are just fine🙂 Her grandpa died on Thursday and she had to fly to LA to be with her mom with no notice, so I’m on my own with the boys from last night (Friday) through Tues. when my mom will arrive to help me out (she has my brother’s kids for the long weekend). DW returns Tuesday PM.

Grandpa was 99 years old – his 100th was coming up this week. He was a great guy and an amazing grandfather, so of course we are sad at his passing. That said, his quality of life has been bad for several years, so it’s also a positive.

We decided to tell Monkey about it since he visited Grandpa many times and we thought since they weren’t super close, it might be a good way to start talking more about death and dying. He took it well initially and had lots of questions. Later than night, he expressed concern about my dad (“Papa is old, is he going to die?” “We only have one Grandpa left.”) and his uncle (Muncle John) and he cried and said he was sad about Grandpa.

We dropped DW off at the airport last night and came home and started getting ready for bed. My plan was to get the MM down first in his bed, then Monkey in our bed, and move the MM to our bed when I went to bed. I got Monkey involved in a Wii game and told him not to come upstairs so that I could get brother to sleep. It took FOREVER, but I finally managed it. Then I got Monkey ready for bed and we talked some more about Grandpa, but there were no tears. Took from 6:45-8:15, but both boys were offically out and I was on Mama time. It was very exciting: iPad and HGTV!

I went up around 10 and got myself ready, moved the bedrails from the MMs room to our room, moved the baby gate from the MMs room to our room, woke Monkey to go potty, then transferred the MM. I slept in the middle and it was, shall we say, very cozy, even though we have a California king size bed. All was well until the MM woke up yelling at 2:30AM (“I DON’T WANT THIS BED! I WANT THE OTHER BED!”). Monkey woke up, I told him to lay down and I walked around with the MM to get him back to sleep. He did, but the minute I tried to lay down with him, the screaming began again. I decided to try to get him down in his room and then transfer him.

Got him down fairly quickly, but when I tried to get up, he woke up and cried. I brought Monkey into the room and had him get in the (full size) bed. Realized Monkey was crying. I asked him what was wrong and he told me he’s sad about Grandpa😦 I sat down next to him and comforted him while rocking with the MM. Got him calmed down and got back in bed, this time with the MM in the middle. Then both boys got the giggles. For like 40 minutes. I thought I was going to lose my mind, y’all. They finally dropped at 4:30AM. I had to move the baby gate from our room to the boys room and then collapsed on the 3 inches of mattress I had.

Boys woke up just before 7. Sigh. We moved to the big bed (along with the baby gate) and they played on the iPad while I snoozed for half an hour. Came downstairs, fed cats, fed kids, got ready to shower in our small bathroom downstairs with stern warnings of no fighting. Just as I was stepping into the shower, Monkey runs in and says the MM wants to get in. Sigh. Get him stripped down and in the shower. After the fastest shower on record, I get us dried and dressed. Finished getting ready and headed to the mall to hit STAR.BUCKS!!!!, the play area, the Disn.ey St.ore, Leg.o Store, and Ga.me Sto.p. They did pretty well considering the sleepless night. We have had lunch and they are now watching a movie and eating popcorn, which is how I have the time to write this novel.

Planning to order pizza for dinner, and hit the local kids museum in the morning and maybe see The Goo.d Dino.saur in the afternoon at the $2 theater. Monkey is supposed to be back to school Monday (year-round calendar here and he’s been out for three weeks), but there is a good chance of ice and snow, so I may have both of them stuck inside. Pray for me. I got lucky with work: they give you up to 5 bereavement days that don’t count against your PTO, so I’m taking Monday and Tuesday, and will work from home Wednesday and Thursday while my Mom is here.

Other random updates:

  • Monkey is having his tonsils and adenoids removed on April 20.
  • We found out yesterday that he got into the local magnet school we applied for.
  • My mom will be here for her birthday (2/16).
  • DW’s birthday is 2/22 and I have no idea what to get her. She just buys what she wants during the year. I told her to go on a shopping spree while she’s in California, but she probably won’t. What should I do?????

I’ll try to update again tomorrow with more wackiness. I figure this will be a good post to read when I’m reminiscing about my perfect babies in the future. LOL.

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2015: an overview

Since I rarely blog anymore and I like to use my blog to travel back in time and reminisce, I thought I’d do a 2015 timeline entry. 2015 was a pretty huge year for us.

January

  • Packed up all of our stuff and moved our family (including our 3 cats) from Los Angeles, CA, to Raleigh, NC (1/22)

February

  • Found our home (2/8)
    We went from 1300 sq feet, 2 bedrooms, 2 bathrooms to 2600 sq feet, 3 (incredibly large) bedrooms, 3 bathrooms and a YARD!
  • Experienced our first NC snow – first time either boy had seen snow (2/24)

March

  • Monkey started at a new preschool…
    …which was a disaster.
  • Monkey quit the new preschool

April

  • First Easter with cousins in SC (4/5)
  • Monkey loses first tooth (4/10)
  • Moved into new house (4/26)
  • The MM turned 2 (4/29)
    It was a quiet affair at home with balloons, gifts and cake. It was enough of a feat to get the sunroom orderly enough to put his new train table there.

May

  • The MM’s first hospital procedure/got front teeth capped (5/15)I didn’t blog or FB about this because I was actually rather embarrassed. The MM had some discoloration on his top 4 front teeth, so I took him in to the dentist for the first time in April. Turned out that it was decay (!!) and they recommended capping them. Since he was so young, it needed to be done under anesthesia (!!) in a local hospital (!!!!). I was freaked out about it, of course, so I got a second opinion, and, yes, this was the recommended course of action. I called every local ped dentist to see if there was anyone who could do this in their office and nope.I took him in super early in the AM after an overnight fast. They put us in a room to wait. They wait until they are in the OR to give gas to get them out quickly and then do IV, procedure. Then one of the worst things ever – they took him screaming and crying from my arms to the OR. It. Was. Awful. I waited for an excruciating 1.5 hours and then they brought me back to hold him as he came to. Again, just awful. He was so upset and disoriented. I nursed him, took him home, and put him to bed. He slept for a few hours (with constant Mama checks) and then woke up and was absolutely fine. And that was that. The capped teeth will fall out as normal when his permanent teeth start coming in.The dentist blamed my nursing him overnight as the cause of the decay, which is why I felt embarrassed and ashamed. I’ve read that breastmilk doesn’t pool in the mouth and lead to this problem like formula from a bottle overnight does. Who knows. I just know that I did what felt right for him and for me and that’s that.

July

  • Our first ER visit: The MM gets stitches (7/9)How we made it 5 years without an ER visit is beyond me. This one happened because Monkey was chasing the MM through the house and of course the MM fell right on the edge of the fireplace (Note: We’ve since purchased guards for the edge.) DW tried cleaning him up but we quickly saw that his poor lip was split. I first took him to Urgent Care as they said they do stitches. On arrival, however, they said since it was on the face, they wanted us to go to the ER.The MM was a freaking rock star. First they applied topical numbing cream with a cotton ball taped to his lip. Then they did some sort of nose spray that makes you very woozy and out of it. Lastly they sewed up his lip. Dude didn’t even cry during the stitches and barely did for the other stuff.He did great! And now he has a small bad ass scar on his upper lip. Dude has been through it this year.
  • Monkey started Kindergarten (7/7)

August

  • Trip to Wilmington (8/10)
    First time to NC beach for any of us. Granny came along (my mom). We went to the beach (but only for one day as the kids really wanted to be in the pool at the hotel), did a lot of swimming in the pool, visited the USS NC Battleship and NC Aquarium, and Mama and Mommy went out for dinner did the Ghost Tour.

September

  • Baseball for Monkey!

    This was actually t-ball, but ended up being coaches pitching. Monkey was much more focused and into it than he ever has been and did well. We found a great league nearby and loved Monkey’s coach (a former NY Yankees player!). We found that out when the team was invited to coaches’ house for a post-season wrap up. Dude lives in a freaking $2 milion dollar home! Cray. We just signed up for Spring ball and are really hopeful we are on his team again (his son is the same age as Monkey).

October

  • Color Run (10/3)
    Monkey LOVES to run and this seemed like something he’d enjoy. Did he ever! The whole family went but only Monkey and I did the actual run (let’s be real, Mama mostly walked). We got covered head to toe in colored powder, much to Monkey’s delight. Afterwards, they had a big dance party where they handed out more color packs and everyone got even more covered in color. On our walk to the car, there was a powder station that a bunch of kids were playing at (purple powder EVERYWHERE), so we stopped and let the kids go to town. You guys, they were seriously covered in purple powder. They loved it. Monkey still asks when we can do it again. LOL.
  • NC State Fair (10/17)
    Meh, we are not really fair fans, but the fairgrounds are super close and everyone said you must experience it. It was hot, parking was hell, there was disgusting fair food, there were smelly buildings full of farm animals, and overpriced tickets to ride crappy rides. Kids loved it – Mamas, not so much. Mommy was like, “We aren’t doing that again.” I was like, “You know you’re dreaming, right? We have kids!” LOL!
  • Mama starts new job (at same company)
  • First Halloween in new house
    In LA we lived in a security condo building so we never got trick-or-treaters. Monkey thoroughly enjoyed handing out candy. In fact, he cut his own TOTing short so that he could go home and hand out candy. DW also really did up the house for Halloween. Orange lights around posts on front porch, skeleton lights along front walkway, tombstones and flashing lights in yard, and spooky sounds via a speaker in the front window. Pretty impressive🙂

November

  • Mommy’s band plays first gig
  • Mama has work trip to LA – first time away from the MM overnight (11/17-11/19)
    Highlights included staying at The Standard hotel, going to The Broad museum, partying on my last night there with my old gay work boyfriend (we did drinks at the rooftop bar at The Standard, hit Clifton’s for dinner, and walked around downtown LA, which is really lovely these days). Bonus? I was not at all homesick for LA – I was totally ready to come home to NC🙂
  • Wean the MM (11/17)
  • First Thanksgiving with my family in SC

December

  • Monkey turned 6 (12/21)
    No party or huge activity planned this year, which ended up making Monkey sad. We hit up the local kid’s museum, went out for brunch and went to the trampoline place. Then home for gifts, dinner and cake. Next year we’ll do a party at our place.
  • First Christmas in new house
  • Mommy visited Grandma in LA (12/26-12/29)
  • Mama and boys visited family in SC (12/26-12/28)
    Highlights include exchanging gifts with family, visiting the Riverbanks Zoo with cousins, and seeing The Good Dinosaur.

So far, we’ve had a pretty busy January 2016 as well!

  • The MM saw his first movie in the theater – Hotel Transylvania 2 (1/3)
    We have a $2 theater near our house so we thought we’d try it. He did great and we’ve already been back to see The Peanuts movie, too.
  • Monkey received a character award at school for Respect (1/8)
    There were around 6 total character awards per grade. Very proud!
  • Toured and applied to a magnet school for Monkey for first grade (we find out if he got in 2/5)
  • Had our first snow in our new house (1/17)
  • Scheduled a tour of a local pre-school for the MM for next August (1/22)
  • Monkey’s first school performance (1/22)
  • Roller skating for the first time  for a school fundraiser (1/30)
  • Mommy’s band has scheduled their second show (2/6)
  • Researching soccer and/or karate options for the MM, and track options for Monkey
  • Work on potty training the MM (ughhhhhh)

Whew! Non-stop action over here.

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no more nurslings

DW and I took the opportunity of my 3 day trip to Los Angeles last week to wean the Marshmallow. I have tried twice in the last 3 months to night wean to no avail. My hard-headed babe would go 10-12 nights with very little sleep, and very much wailing. I literally dropped with exhaustion at a certain point and gave in both times.

Since I was to be gone for 3 nights and 4 days, we thought this was a good time to just try going cold turkey. Here’s how it’s going:

  • Night 1: The MM was up from 12:30-4:30AM. Let’s all give it up for Mommy (DW) who had to deal with that mess. He was not crying or unhappy during that time, just awake. Fortunately my mom was on hand to help, so DW did get some nap time the next day.
  • Night 2: The MM was up for the day at 3:30AM. Poor, poor Mommy.
  • Night 3: The MM was up for the day at 5:30AM. A little progress…
  • Night 4: Mama was home! The MM was asking for milk! I very nearly gave in as I just ached for him, even though the crying was not inconsolable. I was able to get him to sleep with no nursing. He woke up several times wanting to nurse, but I was able to get him back down with very few tears. He was up from 3:30-4:30AM, woke for the day at 6:30.
  • Night 5: Baby slept through the night until 6:30AM! He stirred several times overnight but never woke up. YES!
  • Night 6: Baby woke up several times through the night, but I was able to get him back to sleep quickly with some butt patting and shushing.

Pretty good, right? He does ask for milk a couple of times each day, but accepts it when I tell him, “I’m sorry, there’s no more milk. Would you like water, juice, etc? Would you like a hug?”

It is both great and sad. The thought that I’ll never nurse my babies again does have my heart breaking a bit. I wish I could have one more nursing-to-sleep session, but I also know it’s time to be done. I was really resenting having to nurse so often, and not getting restful sleep as the MM woke several times overnight to nurse. I also feel kind of guilty not waiting for him to end things – even after 2 years and 8 months of bfing. That mom guilt is strong and merciless!

I nursed my babies for a total of 4 years and 11 months. Neither had a drop of formula and were EBF for their first 6 months of life. I pumped for a total of 1.5 years while working full-time. My initial goal was to reach a year with each baby, so I kind of killed that one! I am so proud and so thankful that I was able to experience nursing my children. It was a transformative experience for me, something I’ll treasure always.

Goodbye, my sweet babies. Hello, my beautiful children.

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