4.5 (aka what the hell happened to my sweet kid?)

It’s so hard to find a moment to blog these days. I really don’t want to abandon the blog, but I must admit that I’ll likely be a sporadic poster as life continues to get more chaotic and hectic. The older my two get, the crazier it seems, if you can imagine :)

We are in 4.5 year old hell with our Monkey. He’s so hard to handle these days, it’s insane. He absolutely does not listen one little bit. He doesn’t respond to positive or negative consequences. He’s just a tasmanian devil of a child. He hits us and his brother for no reason, just out of the blue. He throws toys. He yells and screams. He does mean and/or annoying things just for the sake of it. In between all of these things, he cuddles in my lap, tucking his long, thin legs into his chest and pressing his head against my heart. I say, “I love you, S!” He says, “I wuv you, too, Mama!” But I must admit, the vast majority of the time is wild child with a few bright spots. I’m hopeful this turns around soon as we are pretty fried. Camp starts in 9 days. Counting down! Are you mamas of 4 year olds experiencing this? Anything working to calm the savage beast?

The MM is wonderful. Super mellow and sweet. He started walking a bit about a month ago, but has stalled out. He will stand up and take about 7 steps before plopping down on his butt. He claps and says, “Yay!” He is ticklish and his laughs and giggles just about break me with their cuteness. The teething is really bad for him lately – gums are red and swollen, poor guy. Still, sleep is not an issue with him (thank you!!!!).

We are all looking forward to our annual beach trip with my family in late July. A week with cousins, aunts, uncles, grandparents. I can’t wait to sip an ice cold beer on the hot sand. Aaaaaaahhhhh.

I interviewed for a new job earlier this week and it went really well. So well that they want to create a senior level position just for me. It is in my area of expertise (current position is most definitely not and I’m not happy there), and they are 10 minutes down the road. No commute and I could come home for lunch! Score! Cross your fingers that they are able to put a package together that is equal to or better than my current position.

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11 Comments

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11 responses to “4.5 (aka what the hell happened to my sweet kid?)

  1. Congrats on the job! I hope your wild child calms down soon.

  2. Just to say, my kid was/is the same (now 5 and a bit). The only things that make it better are a lot of run-around time, a lot of structure (which I can’t always provide!) and making him go to his room to calm down (I have tried everything else but sometimes the hitting and kicking and screaming are too much and I can’t listen to it any more, and besides mine DOES calm down in his room after 5-10 minutes). Mostly this is to say, I’m sorry, and my kid makes me feel like the worst parent ever, but you know what? It’s NOT you. This insecure, attention seeking behavior is normal, if infinitely difficult to deal with. I’m thinking of taking Bug back to therapy – not because it’s abnormal, but because I just can’t DEAL with it!! So good luck and lots of patience to all of you.

  3. chunkandmommy

    Oh yes, although we have been there for about a year. I call him the Hulk, because at any given moment he can go from normal, sweet kid to a raging manic. We try to ignore, unless he is causing harm (which happens) or redirect him to something else. He is also sent to his room frequently when he is out of control or thrown out in the fenced backyard to run off some of his aggression. It is ROUGH and I am there with you. Chunk doesn’t listen either and his independence and self-confidence is a double-edged sword because he thinks he is the boss and is constantly pushing boundaries. Have a safe space (his room, playroom, backyard, etc) that he can go, alone, even for 4-5 minutes to cool-his-jets. Good luck and enjoy a beer!

  4. 4 was definitely a positive turning point for us! The last month has been hard on L (and therefore us), though he’s not aggressive; he is just more likely to get upset over something that seems inconsequential. I am attributing a lot of that to the end of the school year and the change in schedule/routine as well as the emotional insecurity that comes with big changes for little people. Not fun though.

    Congrats on the potential new position. Keep us posted!

  5. I think from considering our own situation children who live in flats, condos and apartments have it a lot harder but than ones who have easy access to a yard. But then reading Chunk’s mom’s post maybe not. Although she has a back yard so he can run off his steam. I always feel that I’m short changing Isobel by being inside so much and not being able to let her dog in the dirt more and just run wild. Maybe you can schedule more of that? Does he like sports? I really get the huge contrast between baby and Monkey. Harry is so sweet and adorable and Isobel is so NOT sometimes that it makes it hard!
    I hope you get this new job!!! It sounds awesome and to be doing something in your field ( which is what? Computers? Library science ?) would be great. I love my ten minute commute and flexibility but that’s ALL I love about my job!
    I think the above mentioned structure , lots of running around time and a safe time out space might help . Although I’m not really into time outs but if it’s a cooking down period it could help. Have you read AHA parenting? I’m pretty sure she would say you need to spend more time being close with Monkey and giving him “time ins”. We are going to try a reward chart – I’ll keep you posted!

  6. Sorry about all my stupid I phone misspellings eyc but you’re smart so il sure you can figure them all out!!

  7. We occasionally get the uncontrollable Little Monster. It is NOT easy. Positive parenting is our main go to and sometimes it works and sometimes it just does not. He has some serious work to do as far as self-regulation. Some of that is related to age and some is rooted in his sensory disorder. We try and work with his occupational therapist to come up with what discipline technique suits him. I know some would say that is letting him get away with things, but we learned a long time ago that it is best to meet your kid where they are at and not where you or society thinks they should be. Hitting is about the only thing that brings about immediate consequence. Meaning no ipad or tv for a day. Multiple incidents result in multiple days of no ipad of tv. We also do “quiet time” in the room, with one of us present, to calm down rather than isolation. It seems to work. For now. Who knows what tomorrow will bring. All in all though, 4 has been treating us well and I cannot really complain. Good luck with the job prospect. And yes, keep us updated!!!

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