random topics post :)

I have two topics that I want to write about:

  • Work travel while breastfeeding
  • Girls’ dance

Here goes!

Work travel while breastfeeding

UPDATE: My boss was fine with my non-attendance. When will I learn not so stress over situations until they happen? Sigh. She was lovely about it.

I have a new boss (a woman who recently announced her pregnancy with her third child). She has been my boss since late December. Since then, I’ve traveled for work once and have two more trips upcoming (one to San Diego and one to Northern California). I’ve let her know that I’m still breastfeeding, my child is not yet one, and overnights without him are simply not doable right now. For the two upcoming trips, the family is coming with me so that I’m able to do the trips and not freak my baby out. I know that she travels frequently and has a nanny. She also mentioned that she weaned her first two at 13 months so that she could resume work travel. This is not my style, and I’m not interested in a bunch of work travel even if I were able to do it. There was no talk of travel when she offered me the position, or we’d have had this discussion then.

Now to the dilemma: The primary department that I work with is having 4 training sessions over 4 weeks time, late April-May. Three are on the East coast and one is in Arizona (I could fly in and out in a day for that one). I need to tell my boss about these sessions, that they are a great opportunity for the work I’m doing, but there is no way I can be gone for all these overnights. I am tasked with starting this new initiative, so I currently have no one else I could send – it’s just me. I’m worried about the conversation we are going to have later today as I’m sure it will annoy her and I’m not confident she’ll let me off the hook. Maybe I’ll get lucky and she’ll be more understanding than I think, but I’m not counting on it. I am the breadwinner in our house, so it’s important that I keep my job, but let’s be real, my priority is my baby, not this job that I don’t even really like. (Yes, I’m getting my resume together and starting to actively look for another position.)

I hate that this is even an issue. It’s such a brief time that our children are babies. Why can’t we have that time to do what we feel is right? The MM is still not taking to solids or bottles, so how the hell am I supposed to leave him for days/nights, you know? I don’t see how I can and I’m really pissed off that I have to worry about it – especially with another mom as my boss. My last boss (a man with 3 kids) was very cool with these issues. He never made me feel like I had to make a decision. Now, my boss hasn’t done that yet, so maybe it won’t be an issue, but… I plan to offer to be there via video, to assist with creating the presentation, anything and everything I can do to support it without having to hop a plane. Here’s hoping it’s enough.

Ugh, ugh, ugh.

 

Girls’ dance

Monkey’s pre-school had their annual fundraising event over the weekend. It was a nice affair – vintage circus theme, good food, games, crafts, etc. One of the pieces of entertainment was a couple of dance routines by a local dance school troop. Girls were about 10 years old, I’d say. Dude, I was seriously scandalized by what I saw! First, the costumes: They were dressed like “bumblebees” in tight, cropped shredded yellow shirts with black bra-like tops underneath. Black booty shorts with a tulle ruffle on the butt. Thigh-high black and yellow striped socks. DUDE! Remember when we were kids and girls dressed in sequined leotards, tutus, and tights for recitals? Then the song: Not sure what song it was but it was very suggestive, even had the word “shit” but shushed (“Shhhhhhhh” where the very obvious “shit” would have been, and that was worked into the routine with the little girls putting finger to lips while looking sexily over their shoulders at the audience). And the dance: Holy SHIT, y’all! I was just so uncomfortable and taken aback. Stripper poles would not have been amiss with this routine.  Thrusts and overtly sexual moves, super sexy/flirty faces, just over the effin’ top. Am I crazy? Is this the norm? I’ve never been so happy to have boys as when I witnessed this display. Shock.Ing. And I wasn’t the only one. A glance around the yard showed me many uncomfortable looking faces, another mom of 2 boys came by DW and whispered, “Good thing we have boys, right?” – it was nuts. And we wonder why kids are having sex at younger ages… Let’s start by not sexualizing little girls! Ick!

6 Comments

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6 responses to “random topics post :)

  1. Kirsten

    I hope the conversation with your boss goes better than anticipated. Good luck!

    As for the dancing . . . my daughter’s preschool has a dance class that comes to the school. The kids (girls) who participate do a dance at the fall and spring all school gatherings. I was appalled by what I saw those girls doing at ages 3 and 4 and would never put my kid in that class. They danced to the oldie “You’d Better Shop Around” and the whole routine was prancing around (as sexily as a 3-year old can) with a shopping cart and trying to find a good man. We got a note the other day that my daughter is old enough to do the class now so they let her try it and she liked it. I was a dancer as a kid and think it was incredibly valuable, but there’s no way my baby will be doing those dances! Why is this the new norm for kids dancing??

  2. Good luck with your boss! She should be sympathetic if she’s pregnant! I hate women like that! Ugh!!! You do what you need to do for your family or walk!!!
    That whole thing about girls does not surprise me and makes me sick. Isobel wants to do a dance class and I’m worried it’s going to be like this. I mean dance class does not excite me in the first place – all those girly girls and the expense. Etc. I have a feeling she won’t tolerate anything too serious anyway. Yes boys don’t have to deal with that but they have other pressures, like to “man up”!!’ Etc

    • Thanks, lady. And you are right – there are issues to deal with regardless of whether you have a boy or a girl. I’m sorry if I gave the impression that raising girls was more or less difficult than boys. This was just one area that I won’t have to deal with – except on the other side to really drive home the message that it doesn’t matter what a girl wears, how she dances, what she conveys to you. If she says NO, she means NO – and if she can’t say yes or no, that means NO. I’m just sad that there are moms out there who think it’s okay for their little girls to be so aggressively sexual. Yikes.

  3. The working and breast feeding with travel is an issue I worry about… When my time comes. Hope the conversation with your boss goes well.

  4. chunkandmommy

    Sadly, this dance routine seems fairly common-place. I remember when my little sister was in competitive dance (late 90s) and I was appalled as a teenager! The duck faces, tight costumes, and thrusts was too much and I cannot imagine putting my child in that environment. C did one season of dance and we have moved on to gymnastics because really, does my 3yr need to be a TOMCAT to a group of girls? Nope.

    As far as working and breastfeeding, that is a tough one and only one that you can decide. For me, I would have stuck to my kid, esp overnights, and I am glad I never had to travel for work until he was 3.

  5. Best of luck to you with the travel situation. Here’s hoping your boss surprises you by being understanding and accommodating!

    And about the inappropriate dance routine… That’s one prime example of why my daughter is in soccer, not dance! ;)

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